Trunk or Treat

I’ve learned from a reliable source (a friend who has kids) what the infamous “Trunk or Treat” signs were all about on churches.

Since “Trick or Treat” pretty much means: “give me candy or we’ll egg your expensive car”, I assumed that “Trunk or Treat” meant “give me candy or we’ll lock you in the trunk of your expensive car”. I just couldn’t figure out why churches were condoning such violent acts, since by nature they’re pretty much against the whole Halloween satanic ritual of begging for candy from strangers.

Churches have used a new device to sway young children from the evils of candy, strangers, and evil costumes by organizing “Trunk or Treat”. It also satisfies the amazingly obese parental population by allowing them to simply decorate their cars, park them in a row in a church parking lot, and dole out candy to their soon to be obese church going children.

The problem is that whole “or” thing. I wouldn’t have an issue if they called it “get candy from the trunk of someone’s car”, but they chose “trunk OR treat”, which makes no sense. And they wonder why Johnny can’t read the bible?

The one stipulation is that the children can’t dress up as evil or scary things... like your pedophile neighbor, or a congressman... oh, same thing. Ok, I’ll have to come up with a better example.

The whole lure to this is that the church guides impressionable youth to see that getting free or really cheap things out of a trunk is ok, which prepares them for a life in New York buying stolen merchandise from mobsters.

So, the mystery of “Trunk or Treat” is solved, except for that whole pesky OR thing.