Sunday, July 31, 2011

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Headlines (As I See Them)

What with the insane amount of news today, and I was much too busy mowing my lawn, I decided to give just a blurb on some of the more “stunning” headlines of the day. Be advised, I didn’t actually READ the whole story, but I’ll give you my opinion on what is going on just based on the headlines. I’ll provide links to the story in case you want to read the real thing:

White House: Syria reactor not for ‘peaceful’ purposes. Duh. Ok, a secret nuclear reactor in Syria, that was destroyed a while ago, wasn’t going to be used for home heating. Apparently those wily North Koreans were in on it, not quite sure how they know that, but hey, they also said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, so what do I know. I frankly don’t care about Syria. Being geographically challenged, I don’t even know where it is. I was too busy standing in line at Costco waiting for my rice ration.

Snipes gets the max - 3 years - in tax case. This just goes to show all of us that the IRS will reach out its bony skeleton-like hand and rip your money from you no matter what, so its just much easier to empty your pockets and send everything to them, rather than have them come get it. They get a tad bit cranky if they have to come get it, and you don’t want the IRS to be cranky.

Sect challenges legality of search warrant, raid Ok, this one also deserves a huge DUH. I don’t know if I’m on record or not as having said that the phone call didn’t come from inside the cult-like satanic heavily armed woman and children prison (those aren’t my words, just words that various and sundry dispassionate “media” types have described the situation), I had guessed it came from a bitter, pissed off former member out to get the cult. Little did I know it would be some whacko in Colorado with a record of doing this type of thing.

Humans nearly wiped out 70,000 years ago, study says. I actually did read this one because I wanted to know why we nearly became extinct, and funny thing: it was a horrible drought! Really? You mean the earth wasn’t the exact same way it is now 70,000 years ago? You mean there was drought and ice ages, and strange weather phenomena? It must have been all of those cars and coal burning factories 70,000 years ago that caused it.

Speaking rice, there really is no shortage, I’m guessing that since we can’t afford to drive our cars, everyone will think that the only food we can afford is rice, so they’re raising the prices and limiting what we can buy. Why do I suddenly feel like I live in a third world country?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

General Observations

McCain has started his “Time for Action” tour. Um, wasn’t he just doing his “Biography” tour? Does he really need names for his tour? I’m thinking the “Whoring for votes” tour would be a more honest description.

Apparently they’re going to build an amusement park in Iraq, which will stop all terrorist activity. Apparently whoever thought of that hasn’t tried to use the women’s room at a Six Flags during a hot, crowded day.

Clinton still wants to debate Obama, making that the 23rd debate of this election process. The main topic: Paper vs Plastic.

Homeland Security is a bit pissed that the media is reporting that their $22 billion dollar “Virtual Fence” doesn’t work. A Homeland Security spokesperson corrected them, saying that the “Virtual Fence” is a prototype and still needs tweaking. Their next step is to contract with the makers of the “Invisible Fence” system, but they’re waiting on Congress to approve the purchase of enough electronic collars for every Mexican citizen.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Things That Pissed Me Off Today

Forget about the rights of these people and the fact that they’re taking away all of their children, lets talk about their clothing.

As if the media isn’t getting enough money from their advertisers, and really, aren’t reporters suppose to be detached and actually just REPORT the news, not cash in on other people’s misfortunes?

Bill Clinton’s little snit about the “Race Card” remark. Scroll to the bottom to see the videos. His response to the reporter is a bit... snarky, doncha think?

A discussion about what will happen when Obama ends up winning the popular vote (as there is no way for Clinton to win it, no matter how many states there are left) and the reaction if the “superdelegates” vote her into the primary:
        McCain voted in out of spite?
        How about mass chaos and rioting?

"I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran," Clinton said. "In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."

In the next TEN years? Obliterate them? Everyone in Iran? Even the children? Innocent people? Really? Is that what you call “using diplomacy”?

Clinton supporter suggests that Obama is afraid of debating Ms. Clinton with Katie Couric as the moderator. Gee, another debate. After that last pathetic one where “issues” like sniping tv advertising and who was friends with who was beat harder than a dead horse, perhaps we could have looked forward to more WWE smack-down commercials in between finger pointing and accusations. PUHLEEZE! Thankfully there won’t be a 23rd debate. They should have stopped at TWO.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Senior Complex Raided

Shady Treeside Senior Living Facility, MD - Acting on an anonymous tip about child abuse, the Shady Treeside Senior Living Facility was raided yesterday.

Despite the apparent lack of children living at the facility, police officials armed with sniper rifles and tanks rolled into the assisted living facility to serve a warrant based on a phone call from a reported minor named Nunya Bidness that residents were abusing children in the complex. Ms. Bidness stated that residents were involved in a plot to torture and abuse children by denying them the most basic of resources and forcing them to participate in ritualistic games.

Residents were rounded up with the assistance of local ambulances and taken to a shelter where the men were separated from the women. Officials remained at the complex to search for the abused children, using the tank to demolish homes in search of hiding places and tunnels.

The cult apparently met every Wednesday in a large temple-like complex where little balls were spun in a cage and random letter number combinations were called out. A specialist in demonic cults and child abuse speculated that the residents were using this method to assign the members with children and the type of torture they would endure. It was speculated that a hospital bed in the complex was surely used to have sex with these children.

Mrs. Claudia St. John, 81, one of the women taken in the raid appeared confused when reporters surrounded her and demanded answers to the charges. Ms. St. John repeatedly denied any allegations of child torture at the cult’s complex, and grew agitated when reporters questioned her about the simple white shirt with pleats, brown skirt, and sensible shoes she wore. Ms. Sylvia Branson, author of the book “I’ve Never Been in a Cult, but I’ve Read About Them” and paid consultant to the local police department stated that Ms. St. John’s reaction to the questioning most likely stemmed from being taught to distrust local authorities, and to lie when approached to hide the cult’s vile secrets of satanic rituals and child sacrifices.

Other members, when asked why the community was gated, insisted it was to keep out non-residents and “unsavory” elements, leading police to believe that the cult was also producing illegal drugs.

It was recently revealed that Ms. Bidness was actually a 16 year old boy whose grandfather lived at the heavily armed and gated assisted living cult. Bitter over the lack of internet connection at the complex, Ms. Bidness made the call so he could play World of Warcraft, an educational game that teaches youngsters how to work well with others and be productive, instead of visit his relatives.

The cult members are being held at the local jail until the entire complex is leveled, and ground penetrating radar studies are performed to locate the dungeons and torture chambers.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Cha Ching (the sound of more of our rights being stolen from us)

Its allergy season, and my allergies are a’ raging. So I go to the local CVS down the road and look for some Zyrtec-D. I have Zyrtec, but I’m so stuffed up I can’t even breathe so I need something to unstuff me.

I recently blogged about the fact that Zyrtec is now much easier to purchase since it went Over The Counter (OTC) meaning I don’t need a prescription for it. Of course, this ease now requires me to pay three times what I use to pay for it. I searched the pharmacy aisle for it and found a little note that said that I have to get the Zyrtec-D at the front counter. Hmm. That’s odd.

What I failed to take into consideration is that the Zyrtec-D contains a nifty little ingredient called pseudoephedrine, which is one of the ingredients used to make Meth. In order to keep people from buying it by the case and dumping it into their bathtubs (along with other vile and disgusting things) and making Meth, most states require that anything containing pseudoephedrine be kept under lock and key and doled out by employees of the pharmacy.

Ok, this seems a bit silly, because if this drug is that potent that it can be used to make an addictive and dangerous drug, shouldn’t be doled out by prescription only? Wouldn’t that solve a lot of the problems with illegal drugs?

Oh, but that wouldn’t make getting it “easy” for those of us with REAL allergies that need the medication. Silly me, I would never consider asking my doctor for a prescription for something that I needed in order to breathe, that would be complicated and difficult. Once again, the bad people do something, and to keep bad people from doing bad, they make new rules and laws that hinder and rip away the rights of law abiding good people. Go figure.

So, I wait in line and when its my turn, I ask the 16 year old girl wearing multiple piercings, tattoos, and hair dyed with green streaks for a pack of Zyrtec-D. Its good to know that such a dangerous drug is being guarded by professionals. She asks for my driver’s license. Um, ok, sure, I’m assuming she’s just checking to make sure that I’m old enough to purchase it, because all meth makers are underage or don’t have driver’s licenses. Oh no, she actually SCANS the barcode on the back of my license. I’m stunned. First of all, what information is on that barcode of my license? Why is she scanning it? Where does that information go? What agency? How secure is their computer system? What happens if someone misuses that information? Why on earth do they even NEED that information?

I’m then required to electronically sign a statement saying that I’ll be personally swallowing this medication myself, I won’t sell it, and I won’t dump it into a bathtub with other chemicals and sell the residue to Meth addicts for profit.

I left there feeling somewhat soiled and guilty, all because I woke up this morning and couldn’t breathe without making a funny noise through my nose.

As I drove home I couldn’t help but kick myself for not grabbing back my license, insisting they purge all information from their computers and take their Zyrtec-d and shove it... well, you get the idea. Now I’m wondering what sort of database I’m on, will I be immediately pulled over by the police and arrested for driving under the influence of Zyrtec-d? Will someone contact my employer to let them know that I’m taking Zyrtec-d? If I try to buy more Zrytec-D before this dose runs out, will SWAT teams break into my house and inspect my bathtub?

Curious, I went home and looked up pseudoephedrine and Maryland on Google, and why, sure enough, a law was passed that requires any store selling anything with pseudoephedrine to safeguard it behind the counter, dole it out one at a time, obtain certain information from the purchaser and have them sign a statement that they will only use it for legal means. Of course there was nothing on there about what recourse I would have as a consumer if CVS sells my information, misuses my information, loses my information, or uses my information for means other than just recording that I have allergies and needed a decongestant.

Its bad enough that store cards are marketed as “ways to get stuff on sale without the use of coupons” actually track everything that you buy and send you coupons for “things you may want on your next purchase”. Dear Ms. Smith: we noticed that on your last shopping trip you purchased some sanitary napkins. Our database has determined that your next menstrual cycle is approaching, so please enjoy these coupons for some New Stay Tight maxi pads, which we feel will fit your body shape better than the last brand that you purchased, and for your particular flow.

I had a sick dog and needed some bland food, so I purchased some baby food for her. A week later I started getting coupons from the store for diapers and more baby food. The I received an announcement flyer stating that I was automatically enrolled in their baby program. I don’t have a baby, I told them, take me off your baby program. They told me they couldn’t. Everything was autogenerated from their massive brainiac computer and stuff was sent out whether you wanted it or not, whether it applied to you or not. I pointed out that Mr. Al Gore would have brain matter spewing out over the fact that companies were killing trees to print out coupons for things that people didn’t want or need, then spewing toxic fuel fumes by having those coupons delivered to my house. They didn’t care. I still get the stuff, and I toss it in with the regular garbage, not the recyclables because if they don’t care, why should I.

You are being tracked, every minute, every second of the day. From navigation systems, to credit cards, to mobile phones, to decongestants, they are watching you... and you’ve done nothing wrong, but they sure do make you feel like you have.