Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Headlines (As I See Them)

What with the insane amount of news today, and I was much too busy mowing my lawn, I decided to give just a blurb on some of the more “stunning” headlines of the day. Be advised, I didn’t actually READ the whole story, but I’ll give you my opinion on what is going on just based on the headlines. I’ll provide links to the story in case you want to read the real thing:

White House: Syria reactor not for ‘peaceful’ purposes. Duh. Ok, a secret nuclear reactor in Syria, that was destroyed a while ago, wasn’t going to be used for home heating. Apparently those wily North Koreans were in on it, not quite sure how they know that, but hey, they also said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, so what do I know. I frankly don’t care about Syria. Being geographically challenged, I don’t even know where it is. I was too busy standing in line at Costco waiting for my rice ration.

Snipes gets the max - 3 years - in tax case. This just goes to show all of us that the IRS will reach out its bony skeleton-like hand and rip your money from you no matter what, so its just much easier to empty your pockets and send everything to them, rather than have them come get it. They get a tad bit cranky if they have to come get it, and you don’t want the IRS to be cranky.

Sect challenges legality of search warrant, raid Ok, this one also deserves a huge DUH. I don’t know if I’m on record or not as having said that the phone call didn’t come from inside the cult-like satanic heavily armed woman and children prison (those aren’t my words, just words that various and sundry dispassionate “media” types have described the situation), I had guessed it came from a bitter, pissed off former member out to get the cult. Little did I know it would be some whacko in Colorado with a record of doing this type of thing.

Humans nearly wiped out 70,000 years ago, study says. I actually did read this one because I wanted to know why we nearly became extinct, and funny thing: it was a horrible drought! Really? You mean the earth wasn’t the exact same way it is now 70,000 years ago? You mean there was drought and ice ages, and strange weather phenomena? It must have been all of those cars and coal burning factories 70,000 years ago that caused it.

Speaking rice, there really is no shortage, I’m guessing that since we can’t afford to drive our cars, everyone will think that the only food we can afford is rice, so they’re raising the prices and limiting what we can buy. Why do I suddenly feel like I live in a third world country?

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