Weekly Rant About Everything

I swear that Ted Kennedy said “Ameriker” during his speech saying he supported Obama. Ameriker? eesh.

If the government can send out checks to a majority of its citizens to stimulate the economy... then why are we paying taxes this year? Why don’t they just say “hey, all of you that owe the IRS money, just forget about it this year and spend that money on silly things to help the economy”.

I would like to volunteer my house as the spot for that spy satellite to fall. Although they say they can’t control it and all that, I still want to offer my house as its final landing spot, knowing that it will most likely destroy my home and contaminate the land. You see, I’d really like to move to Portland, OR, but the mere thought of packing up the worthless crap in my house, and then having to replace carpets and fix broken junk then try to sell it in this totally fucked up economy is more to bear. If a nice big spy satellite crashed down on the house and destroys it, I can just pack my dogs in my truck and drive west. Please, crash on my house.

Whenever I see a commercial for Scottrade I always think of pest control or lawn care. I don’t know why, but I think they should know that their brand name doesn’t generate the whole “trusted broker” image they probably spent zillions to create. I would also point out to them that I certainly wouldn’t trust a broker that had enough money to flit around in a helicopter sounding really pompous.

I’m very disappointed that yet another “As Seen on TV” product is a piece of crap. I had high hopes for the Tater Mitts, but after doing some extensive googling, I found that others have purchased them (thus saving me $19.99) and what they don’t tell you about the amazing “peels a potato in 8 seconds” gloves is that you actually have to par boil the potato first. Well duh! If you par boil it first you can literally scrape the skin off with a fingernail, so why do I need ugly rubber mitts? So disappointing, and yet I have to admire the people that come up with this crap and sell it by the zillions. Of course, leaving that whole “par boil” part out of the info-mercial could be seen as a bit of false advertising.

I saw something on CNN or one of those networks that said that cockroaches can’t back up, so that’s why a lot of doctors find them in people’s ears. EEEEEEUUUUUUWWWWWW. Ok, that would explain why you hear of cockroaches being found in people’s ears, as oppose to other bugs who are apparently born with a reverse. That’s nasty. I guess in the grand scheme of things, if you get a cockroach trapped in the dead end of a one way road, you are good to go for squishing.

Vitamin water is foul. Sorry, but it is, don’t fall for it and buy it, it sucks.

The Hollywood reporters were going on and on about Heath Ledger’s “Mysterious Death”. They were totally puzzled over how he could possibly die, its such a mystery! Um, the guy had a few dozen bottles of prescription narcotics, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, etc in his apartment. What is so hard about understanding that he takes too many, or takes them in a bad combination and croaks. This is a mystery?

Apparently if you are 44 years old, you are in the height of depression, that’s the age of most depression. Once again, the medical people on tv are puzzled as to why 44 year olds are depressed. Gee, being that I’m 44, here’s a little hint:
1.) I’ve realized that I’m trapped in a shitty profession, shitty job, shitty state and will never escape this shit.
2.) Although I’d love to be a freelance writer and write funny things and get paid for it, when I put out my resume which says that for a gazillion years I’ve done nothing but write boring, slit your throat before you can finish technical documents, users guides, admin guides and certification documentation, all I get are job offers to do that same crap for different companies for the same clients I’m working for now. Gee, don’t know why I’m depressed.
3.) When trying to move into a new form of work, I’m told that when a spot opens I’ll get moved there so I can learn it, except they always hire someone from outside the company and I never get a chance to do that fun thing because I’m not experienced, nor will I ever be at the rate they’re going... don’t know why I’m depressed at work.
4.) I still have THIRTY FUCKING YEARS of work before I can retire, and even then, Social Security will be drained and I’ll probably die of old age at my job because I can’t afford to retire.
5.) The idea of following your dream has been beaten dead by bills, taxes, responsibilities, and rich asshats that steal your ideas and become rich while you drown in a sea of corporate america and managers who can’t spell but like to suggest you change a sentence to have more of a “security flavor”.
6.) The company I work for is probably going to get sold and who knows where those 8 years of my life will go, it certainly won’t be retirement as I’m sure I’ll be let go so they can dissolve the company and sell off its assets... can’t wait for that one actually, I’ve never been fired, at least I can call it a first for me, then I can go get a job with another firm doing the same shit I hate doing now YIPPEEE LIFE IS GREAT!

Thus ends my weekly rant.

The Price of Life

A man has died.

It happens a lot, every day, a lot of people die here in the United States. Some go totally unnoticed and those MAY make the gruesome headlines (dead man lay in home for months before being discovered), but for the most part, local newspapers carry their obituaries. Homemakers, businessmen, factory workers, cashiers at the local Piggly Wiggly. They lived, they died, they are buried, all anonymously except for the few that loved them, the few in their community whose lives were touched by their presence.

A man was found dead in his apartment and for the past week that’s all we’ve heard about. Why is he so special? Did he solve a horrible killer disease? Did he give money and time to help the poor and downtrodden? Was he a doctor that saved lives? Was he a scientist that built better things for the world? Was he a policeman that saved and protected the community around him? A fireman?

Oh no, he was an actor. He pretended to be something he wasn’t in front of a camera, and was paid large amounts of money to entertain people. He was followed by camera people, his photos splashed in magazines, he was idolized and worshipped, people bought the same clothes that he wore, they wanted the same jewelry and watches that he wore simply because he wore them. He was honored and feted, and wined and dined, and given just about anything he wanted, simply because he could pretend to be something that he wasn’t in a film. He was said to be handsome, dashing, and charming. People idolized him, and yet he really didn’t “do” anything except entertain people.

Throughout our lives we are touched by those invisible people that do things to make our lives better, easier, and enjoyable. Someone takes away our smelly, filthy garbage. Somehow when we turn on a faucet, we get water, either hot or cold, and we don’t question why or where it comes from. We flush a stool and our filth is eliminated and our houses don’t reek. Someone stocks the shelves with food, someone actually makes our food, our clothes, our shoes. We drive in cars and trucks that are made by someone. We get sick and go to doctors who make us well, operate on us to make us well.

If those people stopped what they were doing, our society would quickly fall apart. If actors stopped entertaining, we’d get bored quickly, but as an imaginative people, we would come up with something else to entertain ourselves with. Perhaps we would look at our real world and recognize those who truly contribute to our society and make it work, not those who pretend to be something they aren’t. Perhaps a man that picked up our garbage every day for all of his life would get front page recognition when he passed, not a stranger who most likely wouldn’t pick up a fallen candy wrapper, nor give us the time of day if we met on the street by accident.

An actor has died... no loss to society.

Fit To Be Tied

I haven’t ranted in a while mainly because I’ve been lounging and enjoying the high of some good pain pills.

On Wednesday, in an outpatient procedure, I had my tubes tied. Tubal Ligation is the official name for it, there are other more complicated names for the exact procedure of using little bands to tie off the tubes, which will then grow some scar tissue and ensure that I am sterile and cannot breed.

I didn’t want to jump for joy and gloat about having the procedure done prior to having the procedure done as a sort of don’t jinx a good thing. As it is a surgical procedure you do have to go through a physical and get some blood work done and I didn’t want anything to come back and deny me the opportunity of not taking birth control or worrying about getting pregnant.

For those of you interested in what the procedure entails, I will detail it for you here. In another blog entry I will detail the years of asking and the bias/caution of doctors in performing this procedure on young women. For now, I give you the full details of Tubal Ligation (as it happened to me).

After taking Depo Provera shots for 10 years (they only recommend 4 years max) my doctor was a bit... leery about giving me more refills and recommended seeing a gynecologist, which I did. Very nice guy. We discussed the fact that after 20 years I recently quit smoking, and had been on depo for 10 years, etc. He suggested that my next form of birth control be the IUD.

The mere mention of that word: IUD made me hiss and cringe in my chair. I had heard horror stories of this evil device, implanted who knows where in your feminine regions only to either migrate into your brain and kill you instantly, or without notice, burst from your abdomen during an important business meeting like something out of Alien. I meekly asked “Can’t you just tie my tubes?” and my wonderful new OB GYN said.... “When do you want it done?” I cried from happiness.

You’ll first need to make an appointment with your regular doctor to make sure that you are sane, want your tubes tied, and are healthy enough to undergo the procedure. Ok, they actually just make sure that you are healthy enough, but there are questions, and they make sure you know that tube tying is permanent. No changing your mind, this is it, are you sure? Hell yes.

You’ll need to get some blood work taken to make sure you can stand the anesthesia. Even though it is an outpatient procedure and a pretty quick one at that, you will be knocked out for it, as the doctor really doesn’t want you squirming around as he’s putting bands on your tubes to tie them off.

The day of the procedure, no food or water (which does include NO COFFEE) after midnight the night of the procedure, which makes for a very cranky person, especially when the admitting nurse is sipping on a starbucks while she types in your information.

You go to the prep area and put all of your clothes in the handy plastic bag and put on the stylish gowns with one tie strap and the very comfy no slip socks. I had to pee in a cup to make sure that I wasn’t pregnant prior to the procedure, then I lay on a gurney while they put in my IV. I love the fact that they actually warm blankets in a little blanket warmer and put them on you while you wait for the conga line of anesthesiologists and doctors to come in and have you sign forms that say if you die its not their fault.

My doctor comes in and lets me know the entire procedure will take all of 15 minutes. They will punch a hole in my belly button, put some gas in the cavity to poof it up so they can work, they’ll tie the tubes, which will require them to manipulate my innards a bit so they can get to the tubes, which means I’ll have a little vaginal bleeding and that’s normal. After that, its some pain pills to go home, wake up from the anesthesia and out the door I go with a few days of rest, I’ll be good as new.

True to their word, after getting wheeled into the OR, I recall moving to the surgical platform thing, looking around and zonk, I was out, next thing I know I’m in the recovery room. I drank some water, got my head clear, got some coffee, layed around some more, then they asked if I had to pee, I thought I could, it took longer than I thought but I managed, got dressed, hopped into a wheelchair and out the door I went. Got the hospital at 7:30, left at 11:30am.

I spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping and trying to find a more comfy position. My hubby went to the pharmacy and picked up my pain pills which was either 600mg Ibuprofen or Oxycoden. Hmmm, give me the good stuff please. I felt SO much better after taking one of those beauties.

Day two I had more pain from a stupid migraine headache than I did from the procedure and spent the day in bed wishing someone would cut my head off until I took an Oxycoden and lapsed into a coma.

Day three isn’t too bad. I’m sitting up at my desk typing this. Climbing stairs is a bit painful, leaning over is painful, and I find that I’m tensing up which makes things painful instead of just relaxing. I haven’t taken any pills yet, I’m saving them for a nice mid afternoon nap. My dogs are being nice (so far) and haven’t tried to jump on me or do something painful. I’d say that by tomorrow I’ll be out driving and walking around, and surely by Monday its back to work for me with only (I’m guessing) a bit of discomfort.

Overall, a very nice procedure, no scarring and best of all, no kids, no birth control. I like that.

Cult of Purse-onality

I’ve never been a big fan of purses. I actually never carried one until after I got out of the Air Force and much of that was due to getting married and finding that part of marriage meant carrying your spouse’s crap.

Back when I was growing up, carrying a purse meant only one thing: you got your period. I didn’t have the luxury of having little tampon or miniscule little pads with wings like the kids nowadays have. No, back in my day we were still saddled (literally) with those honking HUGE pads that required belts. Yes, BELTS! Look at that crap, that’s what we had to wear. Hard to feel girly and feminine about your period when you’re sporting one of those, eh?

The stigma of period and purse lasted a long time with me. That day I showed up carrying a bag and was teased by everyone knowing I was “on the rag, riding the cotton pony” all of those fabulously, wonderful ways of saying menstruation pretty much soiled the carrying of a purse for me well until my 20’s. I actually have to say that it continues to this day, but to a lesser degree.

In the Air Force I carried a wallet, I’m sure cementing the concept in my friends and co-worker’s minds that I was a lesbian. No, I just couldn’t stomach carrying the black, old woman-like purses that were the ONLY purses allowed to be carried by female military members. Even though everyone had the same purse, I just couldn’t bring myself to carry one and frankly I didn’t wear make-up, or carry a hair brush, or any of the other feminine accoutrement so why bother carrying a purse.

Upon leaving the Air Force and getting married, the “can you hold my wallet” responsibility of marriage forced me to carry something, and fortunately for me the fanny pack was stylish at the time, so I got away with that instead of a bag. After that became the joke of dweebs, I was forced to find purses that weren’t really purses but would carry all of the crap that eventually I would tote around with me for some odd reason.

Civilian life soon begat credit cards, ATM cards, ID, driver’s license, store cards, insurance cards, check book, and my tiny wallet was forced into retirement and here comes a regular sized wallet. If you have a check book, you’ll need a pen, if you have hair you need a hair brush, if you have sinus issues, you’ll want to carry OTC drugs, if you have a car you’ll have the vast array of keys, door openers, alarm system clickers, lojack fobs. Gone are the days when you slide the driver’s license, some money, and one key into your pocket and you were good to go.

Then came the PDA, the cell phone, now the PDA/Cell phone and MP3 player, and finally the iPhone, headphones, my sketchpad, various and sundry bits of papers that I need for some odd reason and finally I gave up and decided that I needed to carry a bag... but I refuse to call it a purse and it can’t look like a purse.

I’ve gone from someone who loathed and refused to carry a purse to a purse-a-holic, someone desperately trying to find the perfect purse that isn’t a purse. Tote bags, messenger bags, back packs, shoulder bags, hobo bags, metro bags, drawstring bags, furry little bags, you name it, I’ve bought it and my closet is crammed full of them. I buy them thinking that “this is it” only to hate it within a week and throwing it into a closet, giving it to friends, donating it to charity, then regretting its loss when I think that it wasn’t that bad and I shouldn’t have gotten rid of it.

I go from shoulder bags, to messenger bags, to smaller messenger bags, to bigger messenger bags, to shoulder bags, to smaller shoulder bags, then back to messenger bags. Its never the right size, never has the right amount of pockets, never has the pockets where I want them, doesn’t hang on my shoulder right, the strap is too long, the strap is too short, the strap is too narrow, the strap is too wide, it clings to the fabric of my clothes, it collects too much hair, its not a good color, if only.

Its difficult to get into, it fell off my shoulder and knocked my latte over therefore it got thrown away, the strap won’t shut right, its too stiff, its too flimsy, I can’t find anything, why are there so many compartments, why can’t anyone make the perfect bag?

I found a drawstring bag that I absolutely love and its only $750. That’s when I knew I was in trouble, and at least I knew that had I bought the bag, I would have still hated it within a week and regretted spending that much money on it, but I would be stuck with it, no way would I get rid of anything that expensive, I would have suffered with it. Maybe that’s the way to do it, shame myself into a bag that I’ll keep no matter how much I hate it, just use it because its so damn expensive.

I opted for a much cheaper drawstring sack like thing that in no way resembles a purse. It annoys me in some ways, but that’s it. I quit smoking, I can quit buying purses... unless that cool $750 bag goes on sale.

Not In My House

Apparently the state of California feels that if they need to cut back on electricity during critical times, they can just reach into your home and turn your thermostat to whatever they want. All in the name of saving power, thus saving the earth, an electrical company (remember, the ones like Enron) so concerned with saving electricity, which is apparently rare, that it wants everyone to install thermostats into their homes that will allow them to control the temperature in your house as they see fit for the betterment of mankind.

Yeah, FUCK YOURSELF!

Screw mankind, I want my house whatever temperature I put my damn thermostat at, I pay the freakin bills, you generate electricity and I’ll be damned if I’m paying for electricity only to have you turning down the heat and freezing my ass in the winter or roasting my ass (and expensive electronic gear) in the summer, and frankly if I’m paying for it then I’ll damn sure sit around with it on so fucking cold the inside of my windows freeze up, I don’t fucking care about the rest of the world!

You give me free power, then by all means just do whatever the hell you want, give me what you want, after all, its free. But no, I’m paying the bill so I’ll put my thermostat wherever the fuck I want it and no I’m not giving anyone the ability to control it other than me, I don’t care what Big Brother fucking law they pass.

The article states: “The fact that similar radio-controlled technologies have been used on a voluntary basis in irrigation systems on farm fields and golf courses and in limited programs for buildings on Long Island is seldom mentioned in Internet postings that make liberal use of references of George Orwell’s dystopian novel “1984” and “Big Brother,” the omnipresent voice of Orwell’s police state.”

Ok, there I mentioned the golf courses and irrigation systems, fine, go control those, but stay the fuck out of my house. How can you not get that a golf course is not someone’s home, a place that someone has PAID for, PAYS taxes for, WORKS their ass off for, and LIVES in, and I’ll be damned if I bust my ass in a horrible, boring, unsatisfying asshat job only to have someone else determine what fucking temperature my house will be!!!!!!

How about you put those controls in all those expensive fancy government buildings that I drive by in the middle of the night with all their fucking lights on and turn their shit off? I don’t have a problem with you making a government person’s office building 10 degrees hotter in the summer or colder in the winter, go ahead and see how happy that state senator or delegate is and see how well that flies you control freak bastards. Bite me!

Not that I feel strongly about this subject or anything.

Why Do We Need This?

I thought it was a joke actually. No, seriously, when I heard a commercial for it on the radio, I started laughing because it was just such a totally goofy thing and had to be a joke... but apparently its not, as I witnessed last night when I watched it.

Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles

No, I’m not joking either. Its true, there’s an actual show. Why? that’s the big question.

Am I more worried that there is such a show, or that people have blogs and Web sites about this show... like strange shrines. They’re already gathering intelligence and pictures and “behind the scenes” things and even speculating on future episodes. Why?

Hubby and I watched it last night, out of morbid curiosity. It was... typical. Running away from bad guys and cops, terminator finds them, lots of shooting, nobody actually getting killed (sorta harkens back to the A-Team years), good terminator fights bad terminator, they all escape, run. Tomorrow’s follow up episode, I’m going going out on a limb and speculating that bad terminator finds them, there will be shooting, they will run, good terminator fights bad terminator, they’ll escape, run.

What else is there?

Oh, the good terminator is that wacky chick from Firefly and Serenity. THAT was a good show, but of course, good shows get cancelled and predictable crap like the Sarah Conner Chronicles get put on.

Is it any wonder why I enjoy “The First 48”

Change?

With all this talk about who is the person that will give the voters more change, who will change more, who is the master of change, who will change the most, who can’t change because they’ve been in office too long or not enough or will never be in office...

change
change
change....

this is what I kept thinking of throughout that whole “change” argument. (suffer through the commercial at the beginning if any... its worth it)

Weekly Rant

I have a whole list (already and its only Tuesday) of rants I’d like to get out. Some will be longer than others:

Clinton nearly in tears

When asked “I know how hard it is for a woman to get out of the house in the morning...” Ms. marianne Pernold Young went on to ask Ms. Clinton how she manages and how she’s doing under all this stress.

Um... being a woman I was unaware that it was actually harder for a woman to get out of the house in the morning. I mean is there some sort of strange gravity well that affects women and not men? Is she saying that women aren’t genetically predisposed to get up early in the morning and get out of the house, are we missing some vital get up early out of the house gene?

Ok, back to the answer to the question, which Ms. Clinton nearly broke into tears a few times... um... why? Why is a Presidential candidate about to cry about a question? Not a question about anything of any real importance, but just in general. Why is she breaking up? Why is the media saying how nice it is to see her humanity for a change, see her vulnerable. I don’t want a vulnerable President. I don’t want a President that’s a bit cranky after a red-eye flight to a foreign country where she needs to talk about arms or something important. I don’t want weepy woman representing me. If she can’t take a few days of not getting a lot of sleep on the campaign then how the hell is she going to manage running an entire country.

And how on EARTH do you think the media would have handled this if it were, say Obama getting teary eyed over the same question. Would we be charmed by his vulnerability or would they be shrieking about him pulling a Dean or mocking him about crying and being weak... any of the male candidates would be packing their tour bus and going home had they gotten weepy over anything other than a massive loss of life.

Vaccines don’t cause autism

Bitch because mercury or other crap in vaccines cause autism, now the autism rates are rising in places where that crap was taken out of vaccines. What are you going to blame now other than your own messed up genes or the crap you throw in your bodies?

My mom smoked when she carried me, there was lead gas in cars, lead paint all over the place, no seatbelt wearing, drinking, and no vitamins and I’m fine... so really, whatcha gonna blame now?

Golden Globe Awards Not on TV

What? No gaudy awards show where people spend money on fancy outfits and jewelry and waste hours and hours accepting awards for stuff? Fantastic! Frankly I never knew why a bunch of actors and writers and hollywood types get big grand hoopla shows that last hours when people who risk their lives (and sometimes give their lives) to save others get... nothing. Lets make that whole award show thing not on tv a permanent thing shall we.

Extra Toe instead of Extra weight

Women would rather spend time in jail, get an extra toe or worse to be their ideal weight. Apparently they’re willing to make all sorts of sacrifices to be thin... except that whole actually DO EXERCISE and EAT right thing. Lazy fat bitches. Get your extra toe off the foot stool put down the ring ding and run your fat ass around the block.

Britney still

She’s been hauled off to the hospital after some kind of scene, now she’s apparently dating some paparazzi... how oddly Anna Nicole her life is becoming. Is it too brutal for me to just ask her to skip to the obvious end and give us one day where we don’t have to hear about her anymore? Seriously... enough already, we don’t care. Media, stop it, just don’t tell us, seriously, enough already, its like sharks circling chum.

Where Did They Learn That?

Ok, so apparently some poll found out that kids nowadays think its perfectly acceptable to lie, cheat, steal, and even be violent in order to get ahead in life and business. HOLY CRAP where do they learn stuff like that???

Well, right on the tv, that’s where they learn this crap. Take for instance the cartoon show “The Replacements”. I happened to catch this charming little episode this morning because I couldn’t find the remote control and I was much too lazy to get out of bed to find it or change the channel manually.

This episode was called “The Jerky Girls” and the plot was a group of scouts had to sell jerky, but their scout leader would not let them use false advertising, lies, or deception to sell the jerky. Meanwhile their competition was doing all of those “bad” things and selling jerky left and right. The main cartoon girl calls some marketing slicky-boy to lure the scout leader away and take over the marketing strategy for the jerky sales, which includes lies, deceit, fraud, you name it.

The most telling part of the whole cartoon is that when confronted by someone about the “conning” the girl replies: “yes, but its for a good cause”.

Well, there you have it, right there: its ok to lie, cheat, steal, and even use violence if the ends justify the means. That’s what television is teaching your kids!

For those of you that are confused as to why your female kids are giving boys blow jobs in the school locker rooms, stairwells, and wherever else they can do it and insisting that blow jobs aren’t sex... you can thank former President Clinton for that one.

Yep, tv and the government is the root of all evil.

Its a New Year

Since it is a brand spanking new year, everything is fresh and clean and NEW! Um.. wait a minute, we still have some untidy details to wrap up from last year, and the year before and the year before? Wait a minute, I thought everything was new for the new year and everyone just started from scratch. We don’t? We still have to put up with all of that other crap and this new year may bring even more annoying crap? SONOFA....

Case in point, it wasn’t the SUV latch that killed Bhutto (the SUV latch’s family will be suing for defamation of character). Please, oh, please just dig her up, do a pay-per-view autopsy (which Oliver Stone... when he’s not negotiating hostage releases with his new pal Chavez, will do a conspiracy theory movie that says it was actually the SUV ashtray and floor mats that did her in), give all money generated to some nice, not corrupt charitable organization (good luck finding one of those) and let’s just move on shall we?

People are starving and killing each other in Africa. Gee... that’s totally new, that’s never happened before, never, not at all, nope.

People still drive drunk and kill entire families while they only suffer a sore jaw. I’m sure there will be some “excuse” for his driving at .235 down a highway the wrong way (like he was abused as a child, his mother drank while he was in the womb, and he has Adult Attention Deficit Something) and he’ll get probation and therapy. Because it wasn’t his fault.

I really do see 2008 as being the year where random people are punished for the crimes of others. We came very close in 2007 where the Virginia Tech shooter wasn’t to blame for killing all of those people... NO! The Virginia Mental Health community was responsible for that. I really thought the whole state of Virginia Mental Health community was going to get jail time for that one.

This wrong-way driving drunk won’t get blamed for what happened. The media will look into WHO gave him all of that alcohol, and WHY nobody took his keys away, and Taco Bell for serving those nasty things they call burritos but sure the hell aren’t burritos, and not stopping the drunk when he pulled in for some food. Perhaps the Chalupa fell in his lap, which caused him to miss the DO NOT ENTER sign. He’ll claim dyslexia which meant that he couldn’t tell the other cars were going the wrong way.

Where the 80’s were totally the “ME” generation, I see the entire 21st century as being the “NOT ME!” generation.

2008 will be the year when people truly responsible for crimes will be imprisoned as they so richly deserve. Perhaps that’s the way it should actually be:
Honest law abiding citizens locked in cells behind concertina wire with the murderers, killers, thieves and idiots running willy nilly outside. Three square meals a day and a tv in my cell... I’m ready for my punishment now.