I haven’t ranted in a while mainly because I’ve been lounging and enjoying the high of some good pain pills.
On Wednesday, in an outpatient procedure, I had my tubes tied. Tubal Ligation is the official name for it, there are other more complicated names for the exact procedure of using little bands to tie off the tubes, which will then grow some scar tissue and ensure that I am sterile and cannot breed.
I didn’t want to jump for joy and gloat about having the procedure done prior to having the procedure done as a sort of don’t jinx a good thing. As it is a surgical procedure you do have to go through a physical and get some blood work done and I didn’t want anything to come back and deny me the opportunity of not taking birth control or worrying about getting pregnant.
For those of you interested in what the procedure entails, I will detail it for you here. In another blog entry I will detail the years of asking and the bias/caution of doctors in performing this procedure on young women. For now, I give you the full details of Tubal Ligation (as it happened to me).
After taking Depo Provera shots for 10 years (they only recommend 4 years max) my doctor was a bit... leery about giving me more refills and recommended seeing a gynecologist, which I did. Very nice guy. We discussed the fact that after 20 years I recently quit smoking, and had been on depo for 10 years, etc. He suggested that my next form of birth control be the IUD.
The mere mention of that word: IUD made me hiss and cringe in my chair. I had heard horror stories of this evil device, implanted who knows where in your feminine regions only to either migrate into your brain and kill you instantly, or without notice, burst from your abdomen during an important business meeting like something out of Alien. I meekly asked “Can’t you just tie my tubes?” and my wonderful new OB GYN said.... “When do you want it done?” I cried from happiness.
You’ll first need to make an appointment with your regular doctor to make sure that you are sane, want your tubes tied, and are healthy enough to undergo the procedure. Ok, they actually just make sure that you are healthy enough, but there are questions, and they make sure you know that tube tying is permanent. No changing your mind, this is it, are you sure? Hell yes.
You’ll need to get some blood work taken to make sure you can stand the anesthesia. Even though it is an outpatient procedure and a pretty quick one at that, you will be knocked out for it, as the doctor really doesn’t want you squirming around as he’s putting bands on your tubes to tie them off.
The day of the procedure, no food or water (which does include NO COFFEE) after midnight the night of the procedure, which makes for a very cranky person, especially when the admitting nurse is sipping on a starbucks while she types in your information.
You go to the prep area and put all of your clothes in the handy plastic bag and put on the stylish gowns with one tie strap and the very comfy no slip socks. I had to pee in a cup to make sure that I wasn’t pregnant prior to the procedure, then I lay on a gurney while they put in my IV. I love the fact that they actually warm blankets in a little blanket warmer and put them on you while you wait for the conga line of anesthesiologists and doctors to come in and have you sign forms that say if you die its not their fault.
My doctor comes in and lets me know the entire procedure will take all of 15 minutes. They will punch a hole in my belly button, put some gas in the cavity to poof it up so they can work, they’ll tie the tubes, which will require them to manipulate my innards a bit so they can get to the tubes, which means I’ll have a little vaginal bleeding and that’s normal. After that, its some pain pills to go home, wake up from the anesthesia and out the door I go with a few days of rest, I’ll be good as new.
True to their word, after getting wheeled into the OR, I recall moving to the surgical platform thing, looking around and zonk, I was out, next thing I know I’m in the recovery room. I drank some water, got my head clear, got some coffee, layed around some more, then they asked if I had to pee, I thought I could, it took longer than I thought but I managed, got dressed, hopped into a wheelchair and out the door I went. Got the hospital at 7:30, left at 11:30am.
I spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping and trying to find a more comfy position. My hubby went to the pharmacy and picked up my pain pills which was either 600mg Ibuprofen or Oxycoden. Hmmm, give me the good stuff please. I felt SO much better after taking one of those beauties.
Day two I had more pain from a stupid migraine headache than I did from the procedure and spent the day in bed wishing someone would cut my head off until I took an Oxycoden and lapsed into a coma.
Day three isn’t too bad. I’m sitting up at my desk typing this. Climbing stairs is a bit painful, leaning over is painful, and I find that I’m tensing up which makes things painful instead of just relaxing. I haven’t taken any pills yet, I’m saving them for a nice mid afternoon nap. My dogs are being nice (so far) and haven’t tried to jump on me or do something painful. I’d say that by tomorrow I’ll be out driving and walking around, and surely by Monday its back to work for me with only (I’m guessing) a bit of discomfort.
Overall, a very nice procedure, no scarring and best of all, no kids, no birth control. I like that.
On Wednesday, in an outpatient procedure, I had my tubes tied. Tubal Ligation is the official name for it, there are other more complicated names for the exact procedure of using little bands to tie off the tubes, which will then grow some scar tissue and ensure that I am sterile and cannot breed.
I didn’t want to jump for joy and gloat about having the procedure done prior to having the procedure done as a sort of don’t jinx a good thing. As it is a surgical procedure you do have to go through a physical and get some blood work done and I didn’t want anything to come back and deny me the opportunity of not taking birth control or worrying about getting pregnant.
For those of you interested in what the procedure entails, I will detail it for you here. In another blog entry I will detail the years of asking and the bias/caution of doctors in performing this procedure on young women. For now, I give you the full details of Tubal Ligation (as it happened to me).
After taking Depo Provera shots for 10 years (they only recommend 4 years max) my doctor was a bit... leery about giving me more refills and recommended seeing a gynecologist, which I did. Very nice guy. We discussed the fact that after 20 years I recently quit smoking, and had been on depo for 10 years, etc. He suggested that my next form of birth control be the IUD.
The mere mention of that word: IUD made me hiss and cringe in my chair. I had heard horror stories of this evil device, implanted who knows where in your feminine regions only to either migrate into your brain and kill you instantly, or without notice, burst from your abdomen during an important business meeting like something out of Alien. I meekly asked “Can’t you just tie my tubes?” and my wonderful new OB GYN said.... “When do you want it done?” I cried from happiness.
You’ll first need to make an appointment with your regular doctor to make sure that you are sane, want your tubes tied, and are healthy enough to undergo the procedure. Ok, they actually just make sure that you are healthy enough, but there are questions, and they make sure you know that tube tying is permanent. No changing your mind, this is it, are you sure? Hell yes.
You’ll need to get some blood work taken to make sure you can stand the anesthesia. Even though it is an outpatient procedure and a pretty quick one at that, you will be knocked out for it, as the doctor really doesn’t want you squirming around as he’s putting bands on your tubes to tie them off.
The day of the procedure, no food or water (which does include NO COFFEE) after midnight the night of the procedure, which makes for a very cranky person, especially when the admitting nurse is sipping on a starbucks while she types in your information.
You go to the prep area and put all of your clothes in the handy plastic bag and put on the stylish gowns with one tie strap and the very comfy no slip socks. I had to pee in a cup to make sure that I wasn’t pregnant prior to the procedure, then I lay on a gurney while they put in my IV. I love the fact that they actually warm blankets in a little blanket warmer and put them on you while you wait for the conga line of anesthesiologists and doctors to come in and have you sign forms that say if you die its not their fault.
My doctor comes in and lets me know the entire procedure will take all of 15 minutes. They will punch a hole in my belly button, put some gas in the cavity to poof it up so they can work, they’ll tie the tubes, which will require them to manipulate my innards a bit so they can get to the tubes, which means I’ll have a little vaginal bleeding and that’s normal. After that, its some pain pills to go home, wake up from the anesthesia and out the door I go with a few days of rest, I’ll be good as new.
True to their word, after getting wheeled into the OR, I recall moving to the surgical platform thing, looking around and zonk, I was out, next thing I know I’m in the recovery room. I drank some water, got my head clear, got some coffee, layed around some more, then they asked if I had to pee, I thought I could, it took longer than I thought but I managed, got dressed, hopped into a wheelchair and out the door I went. Got the hospital at 7:30, left at 11:30am.
I spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping and trying to find a more comfy position. My hubby went to the pharmacy and picked up my pain pills which was either 600mg Ibuprofen or Oxycoden. Hmmm, give me the good stuff please. I felt SO much better after taking one of those beauties.
Day two I had more pain from a stupid migraine headache than I did from the procedure and spent the day in bed wishing someone would cut my head off until I took an Oxycoden and lapsed into a coma.
Day three isn’t too bad. I’m sitting up at my desk typing this. Climbing stairs is a bit painful, leaning over is painful, and I find that I’m tensing up which makes things painful instead of just relaxing. I haven’t taken any pills yet, I’m saving them for a nice mid afternoon nap. My dogs are being nice (so far) and haven’t tried to jump on me or do something painful. I’d say that by tomorrow I’ll be out driving and walking around, and surely by Monday its back to work for me with only (I’m guessing) a bit of discomfort.
Overall, a very nice procedure, no scarring and best of all, no kids, no birth control. I like that.
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