Cell Phones = infertility

A recent study suggested that men who use cell phones face the risk of infertility. Apparently the more the man uses the phone, the more sperm are killed by the evil cell phone rays.

Since there has also been a rise in the cost of birth control, and some incidents where birth control isn't being made available to low income individuals, who apparently are low income but can still afford a cell phone, we've developed a new dual purpose cell phone holder/fertility buster solution:

Separated at Birth?

Has anyone noticed that Democratic Analyst and pundit Susan Estrich is a clone of Carol Channing?


Carol Channing:




Susan Estrich:


Scary, isn't it?

The News of the World

Ok, so what's been happening in the news of the world lately?

Well, if you watch any of the major media outlets, the only news lately is:

New York Governor spends gazillions on whores.
How does the resigning New York Governor who spent gazillions on whores affect the presidential race.

Wait a minute... nothing else happened in the whole entire world but this governor and whore business?

Oh, yes, of course, that's because all of the U.S. media outlets see the world like this:

Yep, as far as the major news outlets are concerned, New York is the ONLY important state there is in the whole world. Everything important happens in New York, and the rest of the U.S. is just... well, morons and not newsworthy.

Ok, back to the former governor that spent gazillions on whores, I'm really loving all of the airplay this "Kristen" is getting. I now know more about her than I do about my own mother. I've gotten to listen to her "rap" song, I know she was abused and moved around a lot, and I know she charged $4,000 and insisted that a rubber be used. WAAAAY too much information for someone that is nobody.

My most favorite quote from her is "I'm not a monster"... no, you're a whore and frankly I hope you sue me once you've made your book and movie deals and become horrendously and for no good reason rich beyond your 15 minutes of fame so I can say that I'm being sued by the whore that boned the pompous Governor of New York. I, unlike you, don't live in a swanky New York apartment that I can't afford and have no prospects of ever becoming as "famous" as you for the fleeting time you'll have fame and then delve into the wonderful world of reality tv shows on MTV or (heaven forbid) VH1.

Enjoy yourself "Kristen" its not going to last very long because the real people on Non-New York are already tired of hearing about it, and those media elitists are already getting weary of it as well.

Got a headache? Drink some water

So, a report has come out that says that testing has revealed a regular pharmacy is perking right in our water system. Everything from pain relievers to sex drugs are ending up in our water thanks to our filtration systems.

Sure, those systems filter out the nastiest of the nasties, but they weren’t made to filter out the myriad of drugs we take in our lives and then pee into our very drinking water.

Ok, I’m not stupid, I KNOW where are drinking water comes from. I’m not silly to believe that a pristine waterfall of crystal clear water flows straight into my communities water tap, I do know that all sorts of ick is processed at the water filtration department, and that certain filters are applied to ensure that our drinking water isn’t entirely nasty (well, except the water in San Angelo, Texas did taste and smell like it came straight from a swimming pool), but I really don’t need the media showing a graphic that pretty much shows a cartoon toilet with a pipe going to water faucet. I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more going on between the toilet and my water tap... at least I hope so.

All these years I’ve yelled at the dogs for drinking straight out of the toilet, perhaps I’ve been wrong. maybe I need to go apologize to my dogs. All these years they’ve been actually getting the good stuff and I’ve been drinking the pee of some old lady taking hormones.

I do wish that my neighbors would all take some better drugs though. Instead of sex hormones or aspirin, perhaps we can all get together for some nice Oxycotin or something that would make going to work a bit more bearable. Next time I have to take a piss test and pop for something strange, I’m blaming the water.

The World Is Insane

Instead of ranting, tonight I direct you to another blog, where someone else has pointed out, with pictures, just how insane the world is.

Land of the free? I don’t think so.

Toughest job... really?