The News of the World

Ok, so what's been happening in the news of the world lately?

Well, if you watch any of the major media outlets, the only news lately is:

New York Governor spends gazillions on whores.
How does the resigning New York Governor who spent gazillions on whores affect the presidential race.

Wait a minute... nothing else happened in the whole entire world but this governor and whore business?

Oh, yes, of course, that's because all of the U.S. media outlets see the world like this:

Yep, as far as the major news outlets are concerned, New York is the ONLY important state there is in the whole world. Everything important happens in New York, and the rest of the U.S. is just... well, morons and not newsworthy.

Ok, back to the former governor that spent gazillions on whores, I'm really loving all of the airplay this "Kristen" is getting. I now know more about her than I do about my own mother. I've gotten to listen to her "rap" song, I know she was abused and moved around a lot, and I know she charged $4,000 and insisted that a rubber be used. WAAAAY too much information for someone that is nobody.

My most favorite quote from her is "I'm not a monster"... no, you're a whore and frankly I hope you sue me once you've made your book and movie deals and become horrendously and for no good reason rich beyond your 15 minutes of fame so I can say that I'm being sued by the whore that boned the pompous Governor of New York. I, unlike you, don't live in a swanky New York apartment that I can't afford and have no prospects of ever becoming as "famous" as you for the fleeting time you'll have fame and then delve into the wonderful world of reality tv shows on MTV or (heaven forbid) VH1.

Enjoy yourself "Kristen" its not going to last very long because the real people on Non-New York are already tired of hearing about it, and those media elitists are already getting weary of it as well.

The New York Times Five Years Too Late

I'm laughing at the hoopla caused by the "timely" New York Times "expose" that is all of... five years old regarding John McCain. Did it honestly take them that long to get the story "right" what with all of their un-named sources and details about what happened FIVE YEARS AGO. I almost wanted to ask if Dan Rather had joined the writers at the Times, as this story was about as pathetic as that smear thing he did on President Bush.

I'm a registered Democrat (this year) and I honestly have to say that I don't like John McCain, I respect him, respect the service he performed for our country during his military tours, the sacrifices he made for his country, but I just don't like him. Even though I don't like him, and won't vote for him in this election, I still have to throw the bullshit flag on that Times story. I mean, come on they really had to be reaching deep for any kind of muck on this guy and unfortunately those who should have been in charge didn't have the nads to stop it from being printed. Apparently some people had enough pride to quit outright over its printing (kudos for you, go find a nice reporting job for a local paper NOT in New York and find out what life is really like outside of that state and realize why we really hate New York media).

What's next from this "respected" newspaper. Here's what I predict:

Let's Ignore the Media

The media is still slathering and drooling over the “sensational” coverage of the Benazir Bhutto assassination. This can only mean that nobody knows what happened, but we’re going to see news clippings and puppet-heads who weren’t there and have no clue discussing what they think may have happened and probably what they would have done had they actually been there.

Back in the days of typewriters and mimeograph machines I was a high school student. Starry eyed and full of hope and knowing it all, I dreamed of becoming a reporter. I wanted to write for a newspaper (you remember those things... large pieces of paper folded in half and in some cases thrown in a wad in your driveway every morning, and left black marks on your hands), and to further my dream I took high school journalism classes.

These classes taught me the finer points of reporting, which were ridiculously easy:
Who
what
where
when
why
how

That’s it, that’s all there is to reporting. State the facts, give all of the information that is known, double-check your facts and then release your story.

Newspapers told you the facts. News anchors would tell you the facts. They would even tell you if they didn’t know something: “It was unclear whether Mrs. Nelson’s drowning was a direct result of the pig”.

Then came CNN. Groundbreaking news, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, Except that there’s really not a whole lot of groundbreaking news to keep everyone’s interest 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, over and over and over and over again. Hey, I know, let’s spice up the news a tad. Instead of just REPORTING the news, we’ll provide our commentary and wild ass guessing and make it more interesting. The 24-hour news turned into a competition, because news is only interesting if we’re the first to report it, so screw that whole fact checking thing, just get it out on the air.

Pretty soon, analysts and commentators became the norm for news broadcasts and that was the end of journalism. No more who, what, where, when, why, and how, no now we have “Mrs. Nelson, purported to be a drug addict and child beater, was murdered savagely by the pig in revenge for making it walk the streets and make money through prostitution, although the police haven’t released her cause of death yet”

Want a better example? How about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. Her death is very tragic, and affects an entire country... so lets allow the media to speculate, release anything anyone said without actually checking any facts and stir up even more unrest in an already frantic country.

So far we’ve learned:
1.) She was shot in the neck and died
2.) She’s fine
3.) She was killed by shrapnel
4.) She was shot in the neck and chest and died
5.) She was killed by shrapnel
6.) She had a very bad and large head wound
7.) She died because she hit the sunroof of her SUV

WHAT? How about instead of just blurting out anything... you wait until all the facts come out and then you release the story? Depending on when you hear the news will depend on what you believed happened. The media is, in effect, causing a sort of historical ripple effect throughout the world. There will be those that will solemnly believe that she was shot and died. There will be those that think shrapnel killed her, there may be those that think she’s fine and the fact that she is being reported as dead will further the conspiracy theory affect where Ms. Bhutto and Elvis are driving around in a convertible, and then there will be a group formed to eliminate sun roofs in SUV as they are dangerous and can kill people.

Ultimately, whatever killed her will be blamed on the terrorist attack that also killed and wounded other innocent people, but do we really have to fuel the anger, hatred and violence by throwing out untruths, outright lies, and speculation. What good does this do? Well, it keeps the news agencies well paid, that’s about it.

So, turn them off. Write their advertisers and tell them that until the “media” goes back to REPORTING the news in a responsible way, you won’t be watching their annoying “Head On” commercials 20 times an hour anymore.