The Art of Procrastination

Why is it that I can spend all day at work thinking of things that I’d rather be doing at home, write extensive lists of all the things that I should or could be doing, then get home and have absolutely NO motivation to do any of it.

When you are at work, cleaning up dog poo is more appealing than sitting in an office. I can be so productive thinking of lists of things that I have to do when I’m at work, then sit and stare at that list when I get home and find no motivation to do any of the things that seemed like a good idea, or needed to do. This means that the list continues to grow, which leads me into a whole panic because now I have this big list of things to do that I’m not motivated to do.

Sometimes I take the coward way out and just cross the stuff off, deeming it not essential to the continuance of life. Some of the things are stupid things and don’t really need to be done, or don’t actually need to be put on a list. Laundry, for example. You always have to do laundry, so why bother putting it on a list. Dishes, the same thing, there’s always dishes. Sometimes I think of the whole futility of housework. It never ends.

Ok, so its really hard to rant when you’re watching Eddie Murphy “Delirious” on Youtube while you are trying to rant.

I hadn’t seen that in a zillion years, and by coincidence, something happened that made me look on youtube to see if they had it. Here’s the coincidence:

I read on someone’s blog about the Black Friday stampedes and there was a link to a video where some poor older woman got knocked down in the stampede and she lost her wig. I sent the link to some friends, one of which responded: “Oh lawdy, lawdy, I’m falling down the stairs... my wig”.

That made me go to Youtube and sure enough, some kind soul had uploaded the whole thing in sections. Now I’m watching it again, and you know what... STILL FREAKING FUNNY!

Ok, so I can’t even begin to rant about how I’m obsessive compulsive about writing lists of things to do that I never get around to doing, then feel like a failure because I don’t do the things that I write on my list.

Thanks Mr. Murphy (I don’t know you well enough to call you Eddie) for making me forget that I’m a failure.

Where Did All This Crap Come From?

I just spent a few hours in our cluttered back room. Ok, cluttered isn’t the right word for it, its more like a hoarder’s dream room. Boxes and boxes, piles and piles, stuffed, crammed, and over-flowing with junk.

We haven’t used anything back there in years, so I have no idea why its back there. Oddly enough, we have a storage room that we rent that is also full of crap that’s never been touched in about 5 years. Why?

I DON’T FREAKING KNOW!!!!

Every time I walk through there to let the dogs out back I think “I need to purge this stuff”, and then I’ll walk back into the house. Well, enough is enough. It got to me today, and I spent a good 3 hours ripping the guts out of computers, and stacking broken non-working monitors into a pile. How did we collect so many computers? Where did this stuff come from? Why are we keeping it?

I suspect that my husband is a hoarder, as none of this stuff is actually mine. I’m a minimalist. I have clothes, I have one laptop, everything I’ve bought fits on one bookshelf, and the rest is his. I’m currently surrounded by 5 other computers, a printer (that doesn’t work with my mac) 2 filing cabinets full of stuff that isn’t mine, 5 wall shelves filled with junk that isn’t mine, and frankly I’m getting claustrophobic.

Dear hubby always says “we can sell it on ebay”. Um, who is going to want a viewsonic 15 inch monitor that doesn’t work? Who is going to want a container full of computer parts that we really have no idea what they are? I’m sure that 9600 baud modem will go for a lot, maybe to a museum, but museums typically expect you to DONATE things to them, not pay for their exhibit materials.

Purging all of this junk is tricky when it comes to circumnavigating a hoarder. First he wanted to “inspect” each computer before I took it to the dump. Why? Don’t know. I tried to hook up an old printer to my mac, but it wouldn’t even turn on, so I tossed it in a contractor bag and hauled the bag to the curb. He got mad that I was throwing HIS stuff away. It doesn’t work... would you like me to make it into a bookend? That thought has crossed my mind, taking the bin of computer parts and welding it into something artistic like a swan.

Little by little I fill up a garbage bag of junk and take it to the curb, disguising it as common household garbage. On Fridays, when I’m off and he works, I giggle fiendishly as I drag bag upon bag, load upon load to the local dump. I do have to be careful that I don’t toss something that he may actually want later on. “Honey, what happened to that Windows 3.1.1 video card we use to have for a proprietary computer that was bent into the shape of a “U” that I need for something right this very second?” Yes, its happened before, that look of a deer in headlights when he asks for something that I know full well went to the dump one friday. Usually I guide him to the back room and point to the precariously piled plastic boxes that will tip and crush a human at the slightest touch and say “I think I recall it being in a bin on the bottom in the back”. That usually deters him from trying to get it. Then he’ll make some snide comment about cleaning up that room, and it takes everything in my being not to bash him in the head with the weed whacker I just uncovered after 4 years of being buried beneath the pile of junk.

Epson Sucks

Hubby is a freelance photographer.

Hubby has the best digital SLR, the best everything, including what we thought was one of the best photo printers out there, the Epson Stylus R1800. Best until we upgraded to Mac Leopard that is.

Sure, we can blame Apple and Leopard for practically EVERYTHING not working on our computers, but for the most part, all we had to do was go up to the manufacturer's website and download the latest upgrades or newest drivers and everything worked... EXCEPT the Epson Stylus R1800.

Ok, so we go up to the Epson site to download the latest drivers. Oh, they aren't there. They have new drivers for the Mac-Intels, but not for the PowerPC computers. Isn't that just grand! We didn't realize that this was a big deal until hubby had a photo shoot and had to print out proof sheets and got what looked like scrambled eggs run over by a car 600 or 700 times. Oh, we need the new drivers, BUT THERE AREN'T ANY. Why? I don't know. You would think that Epson would offer drivers for the Mac-Intel AND the PowerPC, but NOOOOOO.

That's what I love about the technology biz. Everyone just assumes that you go out weekly and buy the latest computers. Heaven forbid you would actually use a computer for say, oh, more than a year. Everyone must have the latest computers and the latest software, and the latest everything. We are, after all, just literally pooping out money to go blow on the latest technology aren't we? Why on earth would we waste our time developing a driver for a TWO year old computer? Who on earth would use such an antiquated old thing, its all of TWO years old.

HP, on the other hand, is actually working with Mac and will be delivering updated drivers through the Mac updates. That's nice, that's really nice. EXCEPT I DON'T HAVE AN HP PRINTER!!!

After blowing over $500 on an Epson high end photo printer, I'm waiting for my next bowel movement so I can afford to toss that Epson piece of crap on the curb and go buy a nice $700 HP photo printer.

And people wonder why the cost of photographs are so high. Gee, next time someone asks, I'll hand them a slip of paper with the Epson CEO's e-mail address on it and say "ask this moron".

Recycling: Not My Problem

A recent article on CNN reports that computers turned in for recycling are being shipped to other countries where the process to retrieve usable parts is more dangerous to the environment than just throwing the stuff in a dump.

“Experts” now tell us that we need to research the companies where we donate, toss, throw, dump our electronics to make sure they are not shipping overseas or disposing of them improperly. Um, screw that.

My local dump now has containers for people to throw their used computer gear. I happen to have a ton of used, old, doesn’t work computer gear clogging up my back room. The moment I found out I could take it there, I started loading that crap up (gutting the parts out first, like hard drives) and hauling it to the dump. What do they do with it? I don’t know and I don’t care because once its in their pile, I could care less. What I do care about is that its no longer stacked in my back room collecting dust. I’m certainly not going to spend the time researching what they’re doing with it, because I’m sure that they’ll say one thing, it’ll be another, and no amount of research on my part will reveal the true, evil nature of their disposal. Frankly, I could care less if they pile it into someone else’s house, I just want it gone and how they do that is frankly none of my concern.

This all goes toward proving my theory that this global warming/recycling crap is just a way for companies to make more money on the “Save the world” hype. I’m sure companies just jumped on this whole recycle computer thing popped up and I’m sure that with this article, other companies will pop up that will vow and swear to get rid of your computer gear in a safe and earth friendly way... for a fee. Yeah, bite me.

I’ll continue taking my computer crap to the dump, and let whoever has it then deal with it. Not my problem anymore. Don’t tell me to recycle and then when I do, tell me that I have to recycle a certain way. Set up the proper infrastructure and do it the right way but don’t try to put the onus on me to make sure my antiquated X86 gets recycled properly.

The Stupid People Are Taking Over

More and more I grow disillusioned by people. I truly believe that some time after I was born, people started being born without a common sense gene. I don’t know if its a genetic thing, or an environmental thing that is causing this lack of gene, but more and more I’m convinced that the common sense gene is being replaced by the incredibly stupid gene, as more and more people breed willy nilly like feral cats.

Case in point is a story I read about a woman that is being investigated for neglecting her mother. Suffering from MS and old, this poor woman apparently was kept in such squalor that when the police came to the house TWO DAYS after her death when it was reported, that even with respirators on, they could only stand being in the house for 5 minutes before being forced to leave. Not only did this poor woman have rotting flesh and maggots on her, but the entire house was filled with rotting trash, garbage, rotting, moldy food, and used sanitary napkins and adult diapers clogging the toilets. A 9 year old child also lived in this house!

Click here to read the article.

I happen to think that one of the MOST disturbing aspects of this story are the comments made by her neighbor, and I quote from the story: "She took care of the important things in her life, the people things, herself and her daughter. Yes, she let the house go. Ok, that's what I would do," “Letting the house go” is more like not vacuuming for a month, not having used adult diapers clogging the toilet and allowing your sick mother rot to death in a bed filled with maggots.

More and more I read stories of people doing incredibly stupid and harmful things, but they are absolved of all responsibility because “well, she meant to do good things”. Animal hoarders whose houses are filled with feces and urine, dead animals, animals with sores and suffering are called “tragic, because she/he tried to care for them but got in over their head”. Others are labeled with a “sickness” and “need help”, which they probably never get, and are allowed to have animals again and start the cycle all over again.

We have to stop enabling the stupid. We have to stop protecting the stupid. If we continue to allow them to breed, our civilization is doomed.

The hole

The Presidential Elections

I once tried my hand at getting into the whole political process. My parents were staunch democrats and actually went to a whole bunch of campaign things and made signs and posters and stumped for their favorite candidates (who invariably lost). They defended that whole Jimmy Carter bad mojo tenure saying the gas crisis and recession was the fault of the republicans and he was just trying to dig us out of that mess.

They almost disowned me when I admitted that I was a republican. Hey, I was in the military and the republicans are always good to the military, so you don’t bite the hand that feeds you, especially on our meager military “salary”. Even when I got out I became one of the bloated government contractor types, and once again, the republicans love contractors who help the military.

My experience in politics made me bitter and jaded though, and I actually switched parties out of vengeance when a consumer protection bill I had been trying to get passed in the Maryland General Assembly was labeled as “one of the top 10 silliest bills”. I didn’t think it was silly that people were getting ripped off by greedy and unscrupulous pet cemetery owners, but hey, that’s why I’m a democrat now.

I was going to “be” a Libertarian, but then realized that most Libertarians don’t have anyone to vote for in the primaries. Typically failed politicians not voted into their party’s elite switch to Libertarian so they can run for the big brass ring. They aren’t Libertarians, they don’t think like Libertarians, they just run under that because its better than running under the green party or the Pat Paulsen party.

I’ve read a bit about our current gaggle of presidential runners and frankly, none of them strike me as presidential material. Wait, let me step back a moment: none of them meet my criteria as presidential material. I want a strong, decisive person that has the best interest of the country in their heart and in their decisions. What I’ve seen so far is the usual speeches that tell the attending crowd what they want to hear, depending on what state and what crowd they’re speaking to.

So, here’s what I want from our next leader:

1.) I can’t figure out how to do my taxes and live in constant fear that I’ve misread the 5 zillion pages of convoluted instructions and didn’t pay enough. Just take a freakin percentage out of my paycheck and leave me alone.

2.) Get all of our troops out of foreign countries and bring them all back here and have them guard our borders and secure our nation. If we don’t have gazillions of armed soldiers all over the world looking like they are threatening other countries, then maybe those other countries won’t be building nuclear weapons.

3.) Build factories to make stuff instead of importing it from other countries. Not only would that solve the unemployment in this country, but we could actually eat and play with toys without fear of being poisoned. Plus, if we aren’t forking over zillions of dollars to foreign countries then they won’t be able to afford to make nuclear weapons.

4.) Syria hates Palestine, Pakistan isn’t holding elections, Afghanistan is growing poppies for illegal drugs... who freakin cares, let them do what they want. Sure it sucks in Darfur, but they caused it, let them figure it out, we aren’t the global Dr. Phil. Think we should help them? Well how about helping out your neighbor or the zillions of homeless here in the U.S. or helping people who can’t afford health care, or helping those that can’t make ends meet because their job got outsourced to China or India.

Now while all of this seems a tad bit naive and easy to fix, it doesn’t seem to be working out the way every other President has run it, so why not give simplicity a shot.