Not In My House

Apparently the state of California feels that if they need to cut back on electricity during critical times, they can just reach into your home and turn your thermostat to whatever they want. All in the name of saving power, thus saving the earth, an electrical company (remember, the ones like Enron) so concerned with saving electricity, which is apparently rare, that it wants everyone to install thermostats into their homes that will allow them to control the temperature in your house as they see fit for the betterment of mankind.

Yeah, FUCK YOURSELF!

Screw mankind, I want my house whatever temperature I put my damn thermostat at, I pay the freakin bills, you generate electricity and I’ll be damned if I’m paying for electricity only to have you turning down the heat and freezing my ass in the winter or roasting my ass (and expensive electronic gear) in the summer, and frankly if I’m paying for it then I’ll damn sure sit around with it on so fucking cold the inside of my windows freeze up, I don’t fucking care about the rest of the world!

You give me free power, then by all means just do whatever the hell you want, give me what you want, after all, its free. But no, I’m paying the bill so I’ll put my thermostat wherever the fuck I want it and no I’m not giving anyone the ability to control it other than me, I don’t care what Big Brother fucking law they pass.

The article states: “The fact that similar radio-controlled technologies have been used on a voluntary basis in irrigation systems on farm fields and golf courses and in limited programs for buildings on Long Island is seldom mentioned in Internet postings that make liberal use of references of George Orwell’s dystopian novel “1984” and “Big Brother,” the omnipresent voice of Orwell’s police state.”

Ok, there I mentioned the golf courses and irrigation systems, fine, go control those, but stay the fuck out of my house. How can you not get that a golf course is not someone’s home, a place that someone has PAID for, PAYS taxes for, WORKS their ass off for, and LIVES in, and I’ll be damned if I bust my ass in a horrible, boring, unsatisfying asshat job only to have someone else determine what fucking temperature my house will be!!!!!!

How about you put those controls in all those expensive fancy government buildings that I drive by in the middle of the night with all their fucking lights on and turn their shit off? I don’t have a problem with you making a government person’s office building 10 degrees hotter in the summer or colder in the winter, go ahead and see how happy that state senator or delegate is and see how well that flies you control freak bastards. Bite me!

Not that I feel strongly about this subject or anything.

Why Do We Need This?

I thought it was a joke actually. No, seriously, when I heard a commercial for it on the radio, I started laughing because it was just such a totally goofy thing and had to be a joke... but apparently its not, as I witnessed last night when I watched it.

Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles

No, I’m not joking either. Its true, there’s an actual show. Why? that’s the big question.

Am I more worried that there is such a show, or that people have blogs and Web sites about this show... like strange shrines. They’re already gathering intelligence and pictures and “behind the scenes” things and even speculating on future episodes. Why?

Hubby and I watched it last night, out of morbid curiosity. It was... typical. Running away from bad guys and cops, terminator finds them, lots of shooting, nobody actually getting killed (sorta harkens back to the A-Team years), good terminator fights bad terminator, they all escape, run. Tomorrow’s follow up episode, I’m going going out on a limb and speculating that bad terminator finds them, there will be shooting, they will run, good terminator fights bad terminator, they’ll escape, run.

What else is there?

Oh, the good terminator is that wacky chick from Firefly and Serenity. THAT was a good show, but of course, good shows get cancelled and predictable crap like the Sarah Conner Chronicles get put on.

Is it any wonder why I enjoy “The First 48”

Change?

With all this talk about who is the person that will give the voters more change, who will change more, who is the master of change, who will change the most, who can’t change because they’ve been in office too long or not enough or will never be in office...

change
change
change....

this is what I kept thinking of throughout that whole “change” argument. (suffer through the commercial at the beginning if any... its worth it)

Weekly Rant

I have a whole list (already and its only Tuesday) of rants I’d like to get out. Some will be longer than others:

Clinton nearly in tears

When asked “I know how hard it is for a woman to get out of the house in the morning...” Ms. marianne Pernold Young went on to ask Ms. Clinton how she manages and how she’s doing under all this stress.

Um... being a woman I was unaware that it was actually harder for a woman to get out of the house in the morning. I mean is there some sort of strange gravity well that affects women and not men? Is she saying that women aren’t genetically predisposed to get up early in the morning and get out of the house, are we missing some vital get up early out of the house gene?

Ok, back to the answer to the question, which Ms. Clinton nearly broke into tears a few times... um... why? Why is a Presidential candidate about to cry about a question? Not a question about anything of any real importance, but just in general. Why is she breaking up? Why is the media saying how nice it is to see her humanity for a change, see her vulnerable. I don’t want a vulnerable President. I don’t want a President that’s a bit cranky after a red-eye flight to a foreign country where she needs to talk about arms or something important. I don’t want weepy woman representing me. If she can’t take a few days of not getting a lot of sleep on the campaign then how the hell is she going to manage running an entire country.

And how on EARTH do you think the media would have handled this if it were, say Obama getting teary eyed over the same question. Would we be charmed by his vulnerability or would they be shrieking about him pulling a Dean or mocking him about crying and being weak... any of the male candidates would be packing their tour bus and going home had they gotten weepy over anything other than a massive loss of life.

Vaccines don’t cause autism

Bitch because mercury or other crap in vaccines cause autism, now the autism rates are rising in places where that crap was taken out of vaccines. What are you going to blame now other than your own messed up genes or the crap you throw in your bodies?

My mom smoked when she carried me, there was lead gas in cars, lead paint all over the place, no seatbelt wearing, drinking, and no vitamins and I’m fine... so really, whatcha gonna blame now?

Golden Globe Awards Not on TV

What? No gaudy awards show where people spend money on fancy outfits and jewelry and waste hours and hours accepting awards for stuff? Fantastic! Frankly I never knew why a bunch of actors and writers and hollywood types get big grand hoopla shows that last hours when people who risk their lives (and sometimes give their lives) to save others get... nothing. Lets make that whole award show thing not on tv a permanent thing shall we.

Extra Toe instead of Extra weight

Women would rather spend time in jail, get an extra toe or worse to be their ideal weight. Apparently they’re willing to make all sorts of sacrifices to be thin... except that whole actually DO EXERCISE and EAT right thing. Lazy fat bitches. Get your extra toe off the foot stool put down the ring ding and run your fat ass around the block.

Britney still

She’s been hauled off to the hospital after some kind of scene, now she’s apparently dating some paparazzi... how oddly Anna Nicole her life is becoming. Is it too brutal for me to just ask her to skip to the obvious end and give us one day where we don’t have to hear about her anymore? Seriously... enough already, we don’t care. Media, stop it, just don’t tell us, seriously, enough already, its like sharks circling chum.

Where Did They Learn That?

Ok, so apparently some poll found out that kids nowadays think its perfectly acceptable to lie, cheat, steal, and even be violent in order to get ahead in life and business. HOLY CRAP where do they learn stuff like that???

Well, right on the tv, that’s where they learn this crap. Take for instance the cartoon show “The Replacements”. I happened to catch this charming little episode this morning because I couldn’t find the remote control and I was much too lazy to get out of bed to find it or change the channel manually.

This episode was called “The Jerky Girls” and the plot was a group of scouts had to sell jerky, but their scout leader would not let them use false advertising, lies, or deception to sell the jerky. Meanwhile their competition was doing all of those “bad” things and selling jerky left and right. The main cartoon girl calls some marketing slicky-boy to lure the scout leader away and take over the marketing strategy for the jerky sales, which includes lies, deceit, fraud, you name it.

The most telling part of the whole cartoon is that when confronted by someone about the “conning” the girl replies: “yes, but its for a good cause”.

Well, there you have it, right there: its ok to lie, cheat, steal, and even use violence if the ends justify the means. That’s what television is teaching your kids!

For those of you that are confused as to why your female kids are giving boys blow jobs in the school locker rooms, stairwells, and wherever else they can do it and insisting that blow jobs aren’t sex... you can thank former President Clinton for that one.

Yep, tv and the government is the root of all evil.

Its a New Year

Since it is a brand spanking new year, everything is fresh and clean and NEW! Um.. wait a minute, we still have some untidy details to wrap up from last year, and the year before and the year before? Wait a minute, I thought everything was new for the new year and everyone just started from scratch. We don’t? We still have to put up with all of that other crap and this new year may bring even more annoying crap? SONOFA....

Case in point, it wasn’t the SUV latch that killed Bhutto (the SUV latch’s family will be suing for defamation of character). Please, oh, please just dig her up, do a pay-per-view autopsy (which Oliver Stone... when he’s not negotiating hostage releases with his new pal Chavez, will do a conspiracy theory movie that says it was actually the SUV ashtray and floor mats that did her in), give all money generated to some nice, not corrupt charitable organization (good luck finding one of those) and let’s just move on shall we?

People are starving and killing each other in Africa. Gee... that’s totally new, that’s never happened before, never, not at all, nope.

People still drive drunk and kill entire families while they only suffer a sore jaw. I’m sure there will be some “excuse” for his driving at .235 down a highway the wrong way (like he was abused as a child, his mother drank while he was in the womb, and he has Adult Attention Deficit Something) and he’ll get probation and therapy. Because it wasn’t his fault.

I really do see 2008 as being the year where random people are punished for the crimes of others. We came very close in 2007 where the Virginia Tech shooter wasn’t to blame for killing all of those people... NO! The Virginia Mental Health community was responsible for that. I really thought the whole state of Virginia Mental Health community was going to get jail time for that one.

This wrong-way driving drunk won’t get blamed for what happened. The media will look into WHO gave him all of that alcohol, and WHY nobody took his keys away, and Taco Bell for serving those nasty things they call burritos but sure the hell aren’t burritos, and not stopping the drunk when he pulled in for some food. Perhaps the Chalupa fell in his lap, which caused him to miss the DO NOT ENTER sign. He’ll claim dyslexia which meant that he couldn’t tell the other cars were going the wrong way.

Where the 80’s were totally the “ME” generation, I see the entire 21st century as being the “NOT ME!” generation.

2008 will be the year when people truly responsible for crimes will be imprisoned as they so richly deserve. Perhaps that’s the way it should actually be:
Honest law abiding citizens locked in cells behind concertina wire with the murderers, killers, thieves and idiots running willy nilly outside. Three square meals a day and a tv in my cell... I’m ready for my punishment now.

What a Brave Man that Oliver Stone

I just heard that Oliver Stone is going to trade himself and take the place of hostages that have been kept by Colombian rebels! What a brave man he is, what a selfless act to take their place.

Wait... he’s only going to meet with a group of known terrorists and talk with them about handing over hostages? He thinks that Chavez is wonderful?

Dear Terrorist Hostage Takers;

Please kidnap Mr. Oliver Stone. Just think of all the publicity you’ll get for your cause. It will be quite a thing for you to take him hostage and not allow him to make any more movies. Better yet, make him do a full documentary on your life and beliefs and I think it should last about 5 years so we get the full effect of your whole organization and what you want in the world. If possible, we’d also like you to take Mr. Michael Moore hostage, but totally understand if you can’t, due to the amount of money it would take to feed such a load as he is.

Thank you in advance.


Dear U.S. Government;

Once Mr. Oliver Stone is taken hostage, please continue your protocol of not bargaining with known terrorists. If Mr. Moore is also taken hostage, we’d like to suggest the possibility of bombing the terrorists. War is hell and some innocent lives might be taken, but its all for a good and decent cause.

Thank you in advance.

Make Them Stop

More and more I hear surveys and polls that say that the majority of kids and even adults think its perfectly fine, and even the only way to get ahead in business, to lie and cheat. I just sit with my mouth open when I hear that. No wonder honest, hard working people can never get ahead in life.

Its actually no surprise, as I’ve pointed out before, our entire entertainment system teaches us that lying and cheating is the way to get ahead. Look at all of the celebrities breaking the law willy nilly and not even getting punished for it. They actually get more publicity, which means more money, more sales, more adoration from the troubled youth lemmings being raised in this country.

Every reality show is an example of how cheating and lying get you in the winner’s circle. TV shows are nothing but adulterous, criminal, low life examples for us and the kids out there. Sports stars getting arrested for dog fighting, putting hits out on their pregnant girlfriends, drugs, murder, taking steroids (then lying about it, then getting caught, then making excuses for it which is still lying about it). We have world leaders taking bribes and sucking all of our money out of our pockets for their pensions and perks when we have to bitch and complain to our insurance companies just to get a teeth cleaning.

So the latest in shameful lying that got caught would be the stellar mom who wrote a letter for her 6 year old daughter saying that her daddy died in the war in Iraq, so please give me some free Hannah Montana tickets because that surely will make up for the loss of my father.

Well, duh, yes she won the contest. Come on, compared to someone with chronic acne and being shy, how can you NOT give tickets to the fatherless girl? Well, up until you get to the part where her daddy DIDN’T die in Iraq and the mother said she made it up. Why did she make it up? According to the news report: "We did the essay and that's what we did to win," Priscilla Ceballos, the mother, said in an interview with Dallas TV station KDFW. "We did whatever we could do to win."

For Hannah Montana tickets... are you kidding me? This wasn’t a case where a life was at stake. Please let me win, my father died in Iraq and I really need a kidney so I can go on in his memory. No, it was for tickets to see the Achey Breaky Cirus kid.

Apparently the organizer of the contest is thinking about taking the tickets back. Well, duh, yeah, take them back. The little girl will learn that lying and cheating doesn’t always get what you want, which is more than her mother could teach her apparently.

Let's Ignore the Media

The media is still slathering and drooling over the “sensational” coverage of the Benazir Bhutto assassination. This can only mean that nobody knows what happened, but we’re going to see news clippings and puppet-heads who weren’t there and have no clue discussing what they think may have happened and probably what they would have done had they actually been there.

Back in the days of typewriters and mimeograph machines I was a high school student. Starry eyed and full of hope and knowing it all, I dreamed of becoming a reporter. I wanted to write for a newspaper (you remember those things... large pieces of paper folded in half and in some cases thrown in a wad in your driveway every morning, and left black marks on your hands), and to further my dream I took high school journalism classes.

These classes taught me the finer points of reporting, which were ridiculously easy:
Who
what
where
when
why
how

That’s it, that’s all there is to reporting. State the facts, give all of the information that is known, double-check your facts and then release your story.

Newspapers told you the facts. News anchors would tell you the facts. They would even tell you if they didn’t know something: “It was unclear whether Mrs. Nelson’s drowning was a direct result of the pig”.

Then came CNN. Groundbreaking news, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, Except that there’s really not a whole lot of groundbreaking news to keep everyone’s interest 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, over and over and over and over again. Hey, I know, let’s spice up the news a tad. Instead of just REPORTING the news, we’ll provide our commentary and wild ass guessing and make it more interesting. The 24-hour news turned into a competition, because news is only interesting if we’re the first to report it, so screw that whole fact checking thing, just get it out on the air.

Pretty soon, analysts and commentators became the norm for news broadcasts and that was the end of journalism. No more who, what, where, when, why, and how, no now we have “Mrs. Nelson, purported to be a drug addict and child beater, was murdered savagely by the pig in revenge for making it walk the streets and make money through prostitution, although the police haven’t released her cause of death yet”

Want a better example? How about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. Her death is very tragic, and affects an entire country... so lets allow the media to speculate, release anything anyone said without actually checking any facts and stir up even more unrest in an already frantic country.

So far we’ve learned:
1.) She was shot in the neck and died
2.) She’s fine
3.) She was killed by shrapnel
4.) She was shot in the neck and chest and died
5.) She was killed by shrapnel
6.) She had a very bad and large head wound
7.) She died because she hit the sunroof of her SUV

WHAT? How about instead of just blurting out anything... you wait until all the facts come out and then you release the story? Depending on when you hear the news will depend on what you believed happened. The media is, in effect, causing a sort of historical ripple effect throughout the world. There will be those that will solemnly believe that she was shot and died. There will be those that think shrapnel killed her, there may be those that think she’s fine and the fact that she is being reported as dead will further the conspiracy theory affect where Ms. Bhutto and Elvis are driving around in a convertible, and then there will be a group formed to eliminate sun roofs in SUV as they are dangerous and can kill people.

Ultimately, whatever killed her will be blamed on the terrorist attack that also killed and wounded other innocent people, but do we really have to fuel the anger, hatred and violence by throwing out untruths, outright lies, and speculation. What good does this do? Well, it keeps the news agencies well paid, that’s about it.

So, turn them off. Write their advertisers and tell them that until the “media” goes back to REPORTING the news in a responsible way, you won’t be watching their annoying “Head On” commercials 20 times an hour anymore.

What? My House Isn't Worth 80 Gazillion?

Apparently in my copious spare holiday time I have a lot to complain about and one of those things to complain about are the stupid people that bought houses that cost them a gazillion dollars and either signed a contract to only pay the interest for a few years and now they find themselves unable to pay an actual mortgage, or the morons that bought bought houses thinking they’d be an investment in later years.

Ok, raise your hand if you were fooled into thinking that a house you bought 10 years ago for $150,000 suddenly jumped in worth to $300,000 and you actually refinanced it for the $300,000 and now find its only worth $150,000? Please note that I’m not raising my hand.

If you didn’t rip down said house and built a McMansion to raise the appraisal price of said house, then you are so screwed. How screwed? Really screwed. Why are you screwed? Duh, because who is going to buy a house worth $150,00 for the $300,00 worth of mortgage debt you need to pay off? I hope you really like that house because you are so totally stuck with it until you pay off that whopping mortgage on it, or people lose their minds again and we have another boom, but I doubt that.

Another question I have is why the government feels compelled to bail out stupid people that bought houses they couldn’t afford? Sure there are stipulations to which people they’ll bail out, but generally you’re still stupid if you thought you could buy a house and only pay the interest on the mortgage and not get screwed later down the road. Oh, I’m sure those people thought that the fixed interest rate would bottom out and they could refinance without any sort of penalty... because they either didn’t read the fine print of their existing mortgage, or were incredibly stupid to think the rate would get any better after everyone realized they had been screwed by greedy mortgage places.

What ever happened to the incredibly simplistic creed of “if its too good to be true... it usually is”? Why do some people still fall for that easy money, cheap mortgage, living large and paying later, except when they can’t pay later, here comes the government (aka: my tax dollars) swooping in to save the idiots. Nobody will ever learn a lesson if they are continuously bailed out by my tax dollars. They will just keep doing stupid things, getting bailed out, and going out and doing stupid things. Let them lose their house and suffer. That’ll teach them for being stupid or not finding a smart person to keep them from doing something stupid. We just perpetuate stupidity by allowing people to be stupid, saving them from themselves and only the smart suffer. Well, the smart stopped breeding long ago, so enjoy your world of stupidity. Pretty soon the smart will stop working as well and then where are we? Yep, totally screwed.

Good luck with that.

Why My Head Will Explode Part 2

I work my butt off until I’m 75 (or whatever the new and improved retirement age is... frankly by the time I get there it’ll be up to 100), I retire, and I get to sit back and enjoy my retirement years, the golden years, years where I can relax and do the things I want to do, thanks for working my butt off for most of my life.

Not exactly. Apparently seniors are being faced with the bloated assessments of their houses, which in turn bloats their property tax rates, which in turn leaves them destitute because Social Security only pays them enough to buy Little Friskies cat food to eat with crackers.

The solution? Make them work to pay off their property taxes! What a wonderful idea! Make them go back to work after all of those years of working just to retire, they can now spend their retirement... WORKING!

Can nobody else see the problem with our tax system when our elders have to freakin take part time jobs just to pay the taxes on their paid off houses? They earned a salary, which was taxed. They spent their money on goods and services, which are taxed. Their house, even though its paid off... still taxed. We are taxed coming, going, and after after we die. Nothing but taxes, money stripped out of our hands.

I gotta ask what the incentive is for me to work? It use to be that around 65 I could retire and travel and do cool things with the retirement money I got from wherever I worked. That turned into having to put money into a 401K fund and hoping the idiots managing the fund didn’t learn business 101 from the Enron people. Then they bumped up the retirement age, and bumped it up again and again, and now I get to look forward to sitting in my paid off house, HOPEFULLY with some retirement money from my 401K and getting a job so I can pay my taxes and not lose my house.

WHY BOTHER?

Why am I working hard just so I can get a job at Walmart greeting people? What is there to look forward to? Seriously, why bother? Why not just say screw it and suck off the system for the rest of my life if that’s all there is to retirement?

Why My Head Will Explode

The recent attack by a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo is both shocking and unexpected. Unexpected only because the animals are suppose to be kept well aware from the public not only for the public’s safety, but for the safety of the animals. Having a tiger escape and manage to attack three people, one of them fatally is certainly not unexpected under the circumstance. It is a tragic accident on the part of whoever was responsible for ensuring the tigers were secured in their cages, but a free range tiger does equal death to someone or something.

What really makes my head explode is CNN’s little video feed: “Tiger had history of violent acts”.
The reporter says it “broke free”, then “stalked” victims. “It wasn’t the first time it showed its killer instinct”.

Um... ITS A TIGER!!! All tiger’s do is kill, eat, poop, breed, and sleep. That’s what tigers do, that’s all that tigers do. Why is it a surprise that when a wild carnivore got loose it killed something? Why is the news trying to make it seem as though the tiger was jailed for other crimes, perhaps burglary. Using a spoon, the tiger found a way out of its cage and with cold, calculating precision, stalked (perhaps crank called) and killed some people. “... the first time it showed its killer instinct”... ITS A TIGER!!! Why is it news that it attacks people? Its what they do! That’s why its behind bars, a moat and concertina wire, its a tiger, it will eat people.

Frankly its a shame that the only safe place from poachers and idiots stripping land to build crap is a zoo for these majestic beasts and all other animals in zoos. Its a shame that we can’t ride in a nice tank through some habitat and see things as they should be, instead of a polar bear playing with a fake iceberg in its painted blue water pool. Until we realize that we need to stop using the earth as a construction set and let nature do what nature does best, we’ll just have to take our chances at the zoo, and hope that some other wild beast doesn’t have a spoon.

Charlie Wilson's War

Ok, I’m just a middle american, semi educated, technical writer that makes pretty good money and was born with a common sense gene. I don’t proclaim that I’m “in” with politics and know the ins and outs of all the things going on, but I smell something a bit rancid in this whole “Charlie Wilson’s War” movie coming out now, or at all.

The synopsis on Internet Movie Database reads in part: "Good-Time Charlie" Wilson, a flawed and fun-loving Congressman from the piney woods of East Texas, deftly operates the levers of power to funnel money and weapons to the Mujahedin of Afghanistan following the Soviet invasion of their country in late 1979.”

My, they make it sound like a romping comedy, don’t they. Until it creeps into your brain... hey wait a minute!

First of all, flawed and fun-loving Charlie refuses to answer questions about his alleged cocaine use, and is an admitted drinker, seemingly portrayed in the movie trailers as a constant drinker (your tax dollars at work there). He was a womanizer and in interview with ABC news “didn’t keep count” of all the women he slept with.

He, along with your tax dollars, and the help of the CIA, funneled weapons into Afghanistan to help the “freedom fighters” ward off the evil communists. The movie trailers make it seem as though Charlie’s actions were solely responsible for the Berlin wall being knocked down and the fall of communism itself. Hardly.

I’m sure the general public will cheer the drunken, womanizing Charlie on in his antics, saving the brave freedom fighters from the horrible communist hoards without realizing that the money he used to help them came from their pockets. In some cases, if not all, Congress and the Senate weren’t told what they were voting on because the whole thing was so covert, they weren’t allowed to know, just that it was for “a good cause”.

It sure was a different era back in then. Apparently arms for the fall of communism is much different than arms for hostages, and by the Iraq war we’re just plain sick of war for democracy. Nowadays a drunken, womanizing Congressman is shamed and rightfully thrown out of office. Back then he was given a covert mission and all the money he wanted.

Of course the producers of the movie and everyone interviewing “Good Time Charlie” now tip toe around the very fact that the “freedom fighters” he helped back then went on to form the very same terrorists that attacked our shores, killed our people. Oh sure, there was no way for him to know that back then, and it shouldn’t be his fault... or should it? He admits that the U.S. pulled out once the Soviets did, and no effort was made to help the Afghanistan people rebuild after years of war. Once again, we used another country to get what we wanted and threw them away like a kleenex. No wonder they’re a bit pissed off at us.

So go ahead and see Charlie Wilson’s War. Go see just how sneaky the U.S. can be with your tax dollars, perhaps not supporting causes you truly believe in, or even perhaps supporting the “bad guys”. The good guys of today, as we’ve seen, can turn out to be the bad guys of tomorrow. When you leave the movie theater... think about what else the U.S. is doing with your money that you don’t know about, because its too “sensitive” to tell you.

The Saviour of the Earth

To the right we have a picture of Nobel Peace Prize winner, former Vice President Al Gore doing some work in his Tennessee home (according to the caption that accompanies this picture on the Time Web site ). What do you see wrong with this picture?

Here is a man that is screaming that the inhabitants of the earth are wasting its resources and will be the cause of its demise. Leading by example, we see here that Mr. Gore is undoubtedly using some kind of electrified overhead lighting (from the shadowing near his desk). Mr. Gore has not one, but amazingly THREE very large computer screens, has the very nice flat screen tv on, and is surrounded by piles and piles and reams and reams of paper.

Gee, how many trees had to die in order for him to print or purchase that much paper product? Wouldn't those trees have contributed to the making of oxygen? Does he REALLY need those three humungous computer screens? Why is the TV on if he's not watching it? He's got some pretty nice ambient lighting going on from outside, why not shut off the overhead lights?

By the way, nice fake gigantic tree frog on the wall, hey Al, did you really need that little decoration or perhaps could you have forgone that little decorative piece so that the factory that's polluting the streams and lakes with toxic wastes and sucking all of our precious electricity while stomping a carbon footprint the size of Antarctica wouldn't have to operate?

eh?

My Weekly Rant List

Throughout the week while I’m stuck writing boring technical documents and listening to CNN I write a list of topics that really irk me with the intent of writing pages and pages of ranting (complete with footnotes and URL references). By the time I get home, work has sucked the life blood from me and there’s no rant to be had.

Since I’m off on fridays I’ll start a weekly rant, where there is no guarantee that it will be a long rant, nor even a good rant... just a rant, but at least you’ll know what has tortured me this past week.

Diversity:
We’re suppose to accept everyone’s race, religion, cultures, etc., well that is until their race, religion, culture, etc., offends someone with some power... like women.

Case in point, the father that strangle his daughter for not wearing a headscarf. Fine, its not a mainstream belief that its fine and dandy to murder your kids if they don’t follow your faith, but there are sects out there that do believe that its ok to do that. There are beliefs out there that says if the husband dies, the wife (still alive) has to plop her butt down right next to him while they burn his body. We have traditions that make women walk behind their husbands, doesn’t allow them to go out alone, to drive, that make them get their neck stretched or wear HUGE earring things, bind their feet and that whole female circumcise thing. All of that shouldn’t be tolerated. Why?

Isn’t diversity all about tolerance? Accepting beliefs different than your own, except we hear all sorts of screaming and gnashing of teeth when those beliefs go against women. Men get circumcised every freaking day and nobody has really started a whole movement to stop that. Nobody says how horrible and disfiguring that is, but there are groups and activists against female circumcising.

Tolerance is tolerance, and if you want us to be tolerant of race, religion, and culture then it should be all cultures and all things... not pick and choose. If it is pick and choose then don’t point your finger at me and call me a racists and not diverse because I don’t like curry (it gives me gas).

World War II vet gets $725 in back pay
This was a curiosity of reporting to me. Fox reported that a WW II vet was wrongly accused of stringing up an Italian prisoner of war and was imprisoned for some time and got a dishonorable discharge. The Department of Defense reviewed his case after a book was written about the incident and the DoD gave him $725 (his pay while he had been imprisoned) and honorable discharge. Ok. Turn to CNN who not only reported this as a racist incident, but figured out for its audience what $725 was worth in today’s money, how much $725 would have netted the guy in a retirement account (which weren’t around back then, but hey, what’s a little detail like that), and what the DoD SHOULD have done instead of what it actually did. What happened to reporting the who, what, where, when, and how of a story? Kudos to Fox for reporting, and WTF CNN for your commentary, which you should have prefaced by saying it was a commentary.

Forbes Most Influential Baby List
I see that Forbes has gone the way of the National Enquirer and other tabloids. Thankfully I now know that celebrity infants control the world, which explains why lately all I want to do is crap my pants and cry at the stupidity that surrounds me.

Kanye West’s Mom
According to the 911 call, she reportedly threw up black stuff before she stopped breathing. I’m going to guess that during the tummy tuck they perforated a bowel or stomach and she was bleeding internally and that’s her cause of death. Not a rant, just wanted to get my ghoul pool guess out there.

Global Warming is a Bunch of Crap
Its not just me anymore! A whole slew of influential scientists are now saying its a bunch of crap, but the other scientists kicked them out and won’t let them play anymore because the scientists that agree with Al Gore are getting government money hand over fist and if the general public finds out that this whole global warming scam isn’t true, they won’t get any more money. Don’t believe me? Just wait until they start taxing your pretend carbon footprint, and hey... did you catch that little bill that just passed into law saying you have to now buy those “environmentally good” lightbulbs and not the regular lightbulbs. How much does a regular bulb cost compared to those others... yeah, they’ll get you one way or another.

Survivor
I don’t watch it, because its a show that rewards people for being back stabbing, lying scum, but I caught a news story about how a losing contestant claimed to have been given a really crappy janitor job on her return to her job after the show... so the shows producers gave her a butt load of money. Except she lied, never happened, she still has the same job she had before the show. There’s talk about getting the money back but hey, why should they? It just proves that they taught her well on the show, and lets hope our children follow the lead of these amazing survivors.

Don’t Use That Shampoo!
I saw some tips on how to conserve energy while staying at a hotel. Turn off the lights and heat/air when you leave the room, and don’t use the hotel supplied little bottles of shampoo. Ok, fine, how about you stop providing that crap and make the room a lot cheaper then. I’ll bring my own shampoo and creme rinse, but knock off $20 from my bill. Have you noticed the trend in “conservation” where we’re asked to go without, and yet still pay for what we use to be able to use? Global warming = money making scam! Just mark my words.

Taxing High Fructose
San Francisco’s mayor wants to tax high fructose drinks because they cause the epidemic of obesity in our nation. Once again, making laws and taxing things to keep the stupid from hurting themselves. Who really pays for these things? Yes, EVERYONE including those who don’t glug down a gallon of the crap and weigh 500 pounds. High fructose doesn’t cause obesity... stupid people who drink it by the gallon causes obesity. If they’re so concerned by obesity, maybe we should be taxed by the pound!

Coming to a Theater Near You
Is there a new law that says that every year there must be a movie on Queen Elizabeth? I’m holding out for Elizabeth II, Electric Boogaloo.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia
I’ve just about had it this year with the Chia Pet commercials. Thankfully they are only sold around Christmas for some reason and not all year long. This year we also get the Chia Herb Garden and Chia Cat grass. I bet you didn’t know that you can actually eat the chia plant that sprouts, its suppose to be high in Omega 3 and other nutrients, so go ahead and graze. Next year is the Chia private parts.

Another wonderful gift this holiday season is the Healthcare gift card. Nothing says “I know you’re poor and can’t afford to get those nasty teeth fixed” like a healthcare gift card... for those who have everything except that new kidney.

Loved one got their stoma? Well then how about a nice gas card as a gift! Nothing says festive like a Citgo card. I’m sure they’ve been looking through that speedy cup window at that ice scraper they’ve always wanted but couldn’t afford. Send the very best when something decent isn’t enough.

Minor Baby Bump in the Road

Its in the news, yet another Spears member is preggers and boy is there talk about this.

Seeing how the younger Spears is the star of the kids tv show “Zoey 101” its a bit embarrassing for a show about boys and girls at a formerly all boy boarding school to turn up preggers at such a tender young age. I’m sure she’ll lose that gig.

What I don’t understand is that the young Spears is 16, and her live-in boyfriend is apparently 19. According to California Penal Code Section 261-269:

261.5. (a) Unlawful sexual intercourse is an act of sexual
intercourse accomplished with a person who is not the spouse of the
perpetrator, if the person is a minor.

For the purposes of this section, a "minor" is a person
under the age of 18 years and an "adult" is a person
who is at least 18 years of age.

Shouldn’t said boyfriend be behind bars and labelled a sex criminal by now? Why is this being plastered all over the news as:
1.) look, yet another Spears kid is a mess up
2.) The book on parenting that the Spears’ kid’s mother wrote is on hold

There doesn’t seem to be anything on why a 16 year got pregnant by a 19 year old, regardless of who that 16 year old is. There were plenty of these cases where it was just some kid in some small town that was plastered over the headlines about how someone could let their small child get pregnant by an older guy and have the gall to take them to another state to get married. Why are the people in the small town treated like scum and this whole Spears thing seems to be just some amusing soap opera where nobody has to face any consequences for breaking a law.

I’m waiting for the entertainment shows to report on her baby “bump” (a new term that I find incredibly nauseating). How about we lock up the perv boyfriend, trot her out for everyone to see with a big ol scarlet A on her clothes, throw her in the pillory and teach our children that breeding right after they get their first period isn’t the path to success, despite what hollywood wants us to think.

How about a nice poster that says: “stay in school, keep your legs closed, and have a life before you bring another one into it”

Beware that Subliminal Stuff

So, apparently there is some hoopla over the whole Huckabee Christmas ad (oooh, I said Christmas! I’ll probably be beaten to death now).

In his ad, Huckabee clearing states that “... what really matters is the celebration of the birth of Christ and being with our family and friends.”

When I heard there was controversy over the ad, I figured it was the reference to the birth of Christ, and frankly if that’s what the guy believes in, why can’t he say it? I mean come on, I don’t yell at people who wish me a Merry Christmas or even a Happy Holiday because I’m a Neo-Pagan and I don’t celebrate those things. Its not like anyone can look at someone and tell what religion they are, and frankly who cares what religion THEY are, it matters what you believe in. So those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, if someone says to you “Merry Christmas” then respond back with your special greeting... good lord don’t they teach common courtesy in school or at home anymore.

Anyway, I digress.

Imagine my amusement when it turns out that Huckabee’s use of “the birth of Christ” wasn’t the controversy. Oh no, it was the subliminal bookcase! A bookcase deviously shaped like a cross that sent out a hidden message that disturbed people!

Um... was this guy so intent on gazing at the background subliminal images that he totally missed the whole “birth of Christ” thing? Why on earth would someone need to plant a subliminal message in the background when they pretty much come out and say what their beliefs are.

Frankly, the only reason I back Huckabee is because he says he’ll totally get rid of the IRS. I don’t agree with his religion, I don’t agree with some of his views, but frankly if he got rid of the IRS and then required us to wear robes and rubber phallic appendages on our heads... pass me the robe and rubber phallic appendage.

The whole religion thing, and his views on abortion and the pill and all that, well frankly the President doesn’t have a whole lot of say in that stuff anyway thanks to that piece of paper called a constitution and those people that make up the Supreme Court (none of which are in the retirement stage or likely to up and croak in the next 5 years). I’d also like to point out that those idiots in the Congress and the Senate or the ones that are generating these outlandish, ridiculous, and totally insane bills that become law, so its a bit more important that your congressional and senatorial puppethead is actually doing what he’s there to do, which is REPRESENT YOU! They’d like you to think that the President is the bad guy and the one with all the power so they can continue getting their cushy health care that they get for free, and all of their perks and under the table bribes from special interest groups.

So stop worrying about what religion each Presidential candidate is... start worrying about those greedy congresspeople and senators who are hoping that everyone will be so involved in picking a President, that you don’t notice them sliding in a new law that says they get more money and you get less of everything... except taxes.

Our Tax Dollars At Work

So, Scientists think they have figured out why pregnant women don't lose their balance and topple over despite ever-growing weight up front.

Yes, our hard earned tax dollars at work, not studying ways to stop cancer, or any of the other horrible diseases that kill people, no, lets find out why pregnant women don’t fall over like weebles when they’re pregnant.

Why are scientists wasting their time studying something so incredibly worthless and inane as this? Why aren’t they working on more important things? Why are we paying these morons to study this? Did anyone ask me when I filed my taxes and wrote that big ass check to the IRS if I wanted my money to go to a bunch of nose picking scientists to figure out why pregnant women didn’t walk on all fours?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

Where are my pet rights?

The 2007 “U.S. Pet Ownership and Demographic Sourcebook” published by the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) was released today.

As most child-free homes know, there is a stereotype that women who don’t want children have pets, and generally dress their pets up in outfits and enter them into beauty contests where they force them to smile and look pretty. Ok, that’s not child-free people, that’s actually people with kids.

Seriously, there is some sort of strange thought pattern that when a person says that they treat their pet like a member of the family, the person being told this immediately envisions that the dog or cat is dressed up like a kid, fed at the table, and treated like a baby. Stop envisioning that you morons.

Treating a pet like a member of the family generally means that they live in the house with the family, are taken on family outings and vacations, get the same amount of love and attention as any other member of the family. Family members aren’t chained to a dog house in the yard and ignored... unless you mean my mother-in-law, and no, we’ve never actually chained her out in the yard, but we’ve thought about it.

Yes, my dogs sleep on our bed, and sit on our furniture, and get to pick what to watch on tv (ok, they don’t, but they do like shows where audiences clap for some reason).

So, what does this have to do with the AVMA survey? Well, 60% of americans own a pet. two-thirds of those pet owners own more than one pet. Here’s the demographic that I laugh at: 35% of americans have kids. Hey! We pet owners are now the majority! Apparently children aren’t the “in” thing anymore, so why are they getting all the rights and attention?

Where’s my time off for caring for a sick pet? Why don’t I get time off for adopting a dog when parents get time off for adopting a kid? What about bereavement leave for when my pet dies?

Pet ownership has so many more rewards than raising a kid, its not even funny. No outlandishly expensive child care expenses (although doggie day care is getting pricey... hey, where is my tax credit for doggie day care?), no babysitter, none of my dogs have ever asked for the keys to the truck, although they do try climbing into the driver’s seat when I take them places. I don’t have to save up for college, or a ridiculously expensive wedding. I do have a savings account just for my dogs, as health care for pets is pricey for my family members, and most pet insurance policies suck. I don’t get a tax write off because I can’t claim them as a dependent, although a dog and cat couldn’t be any more dependent on me than a kid is.

So, child-free pet owners, I think its time we stood up and demanded that we get fair and equal rights that parents of human children do... after all, we’re the majority now! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Solar Arrays In Space

As usual I'm listening to the news at work and was distracted from my very interesting technical writing crap by a scientist who is proposing that the solution to the energy crisis, and for ridding the U.S. of its dependence on foreign oil is to build solar arrays in space.

I'll pause here while you laugh hysterically and wipe the tears of mirth from your eyes like I did when I heard this load of crap.

Solar arrays in space? Yes, this scientist says that we can simply build solar arrays in space where there is no night, those arrays will just sit up there and collect energy from the sun and beam it down to the earth to some sort of energy collection device.

Um... wasn't that something I read in I, Robot? Wasn't that the "god" the robots were defending in space? Are we now pulling "solutions" from science fiction books written in the 1950's? What next? We breed tiny people with furry feet to live in holes in the ground?

Ok, so maybe having solar arrays in space is a possibility, but just WHO is going to build that? Its not like we can depend on our rocket scientists here in the U.S. to build those. They can't even fuel up a shuttle without messing something up, and we send that outdated sucker into space with a tool kit full of duct tape and spackle to fix the holes in it from lift off. Lets not forget that little glitch in math that had the Mars probe bashing itself to death on the planet. Yeah, they're great candidates to build the solar array.

I'm sure this little announcement had nothing to do with Al "Mr. Largest Head In the World" Gore's acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize for his Academy Award Winning Slide show of doom. Yeah, that's a nice little medal you got there Mr. Gore, but nobody seems to talk about the gazillion dollar prize money you also get with that.

These wonderful, and truly mind boggling expensive "solutions" to a problem that nobody has yet to actually provide tangible, plausible evidence is yet another way for rich people to get richer. We poor, hardworking tax payers will, in the end, get screwed by all of these companies popping up to "solve" global warming by creating new and expensive things that make our earth better, when they do nothing of the sort. Its only a matter of time before we're taxed on our carbon footprint (a measurement that's made up by whoever can profit the most out of it), and we're paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for the ultimate eco friendly futuristic mode of transportation (a new invention where one sits on a seat and pedals a vehicle that has two rubber wheels).

People! The earth has a fever... bend over and take it.