Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Where are my pet rights?


The 2007 “U.S. Pet Ownership and Demographic Sourcebook” published by the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) was released today.

As most child-free homes know, there is a stereotype that women who don’t want children have pets, and generally dress their pets up in outfits and enter them into beauty contests where they force them to smile and look pretty. Ok, that’s not child-free people, that’s actually people with kids.

Seriously, there is some sort of strange thought pattern that when a person says that they treat their pet like a member of the family, the person being told this immediately envisions that the dog or cat is dressed up like a kid, fed at the table, and treated like a baby. Stop envisioning that you morons.

Treating a pet like a member of the family generally means that they live in the house with the family, are taken on family outings and vacations, get the same amount of love and attention as any other member of the family. Family members aren’t chained to a dog house in the yard and ignored... unless you mean my mother-in-law, and no, we’ve never actually chained her out in the yard, but we’ve thought about it.

Yes, my dogs sleep on our bed, and sit on our furniture, and get to pick what to watch on tv (ok, they don’t, but they do like shows where audiences clap for some reason).

So, what does this have to do with the AVMA survey? Well, 60% of americans own a pet. two-thirds of those pet owners own more than one pet. Here’s the demographic that I laugh at: 35% of americans have kids. Hey! We pet owners are now the majority! Apparently children aren’t the “in” thing anymore, so why are they getting all the rights and attention?

Where’s my time off for caring for a sick pet? Why don’t I get time off for adopting a dog when parents get time off for adopting a kid? What about bereavement leave for when my pet dies?

Pet ownership has so many more rewards than raising a kid, its not even funny. No outlandishly expensive child care expenses (although doggie day care is getting pricey... hey, where is my tax credit for doggie day care?), no babysitter, none of my dogs have ever asked for the keys to the truck, although they do try climbing into the driver’s seat when I take them places. I don’t have to save up for college, or a ridiculously expensive wedding. I do have a savings account just for my dogs, as health care for pets is pricey for my family members, and most pet insurance policies suck. I don’t get a tax write off because I can’t claim them as a dependent, although a dog and cat couldn’t be any more dependent on me than a kid is.

So, child-free pet owners, I think its time we stood up and demanded that we get fair and equal rights that parents of human children do... after all, we’re the majority now! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA




2 comments:

GottabeMe said...

Great idea, I agree! And I think we should be able to take family leave when we have a really sick pet that needs us to stay home and take care of it.
We're taking over! Mwahahahahaha!

Michelle said...

Yes! And pets ARE a part of the family! I actually lost a "friend" over my refusal to put my dog outside because she didn't want him around her. I told her "he lives here, you don't. YOU go stand in the yard if you don't like it." Needless to say, she didn't come back!