It wasn’t surprising that the media immediately named the Oprah/Obama “tour” a one-namer. Those who gave us TomKat, among others, are now touting the talk show host and politician as a one-namer, and frankly I’m disgusted. Not only because of the one-naming, but because of the headlines this “union” is generating:
Time Magazine: Attention Women of Iowa: Oprah!!!
CNN; Can Oprah turn a hug into votes?
There are approximately 1,200 other articles similarly named, all shooting for that one demographic that truly calls to Oprah: WOMEN.
Like some kind of freak show, this political season is getting wackier and wackier by the minute, what with Romney explaining his religion, Hillary... well, she’s just being Hillary and planting her minions in opponents’ audiences to ask difficult questions, and the myriad of other strangeness going on. We don’t have to wait in anticipation of a Monty Pythian “Silly Party” to announce its candidacy, because they’re already running.
But lets go back to this whole Oprah thing. I’ve never really understood the draw to this woman. She started out much like Jerry Springer, but dumped the shocking and bizarre for more “personal” stories. She’s used her gazillions of dollars to build a school in Africa (personally I think we need more schools here in the U.S. but she chooses what she wants to do with her gazillions), and she gave a whole studio audience cars... then got egg on her face when everyone in the audience started complaining about how much they would have to pay in taxes for said cars. No good deed.
People (women actually) seem to look up to her, admire her and will buy just about anything she hawks on her show, including a made up piece of memoir by some guy that claimed to beat addiction. I’m sure that 99% of these woman aren’t as rich as Oprah, and yet they just go nuts over her “favorite things” lists and have to have these things.
Lets take a look at some of Oprah’s 2007 “favorite things” and see what we need to buy in order to “be” just like Oprah:
Toywatch Crystal Watches for a mere $150 - $325 you can have a watch. Of course, you could get a watch for $25 bucks that will tell time, but these watches are the ones Oprah approved, so screw the car payment and go get a nice watch.
Samsung HD Camcorder for a mere $800 you can get this cool camcorder to record you wearing your expensive watch. Who needs to make a mortgage payment, Oprah wants you to have this camcorder.
Melamine Bowls Yes, from the same crap that China put in your dog and cat food and killed them, one of the cheapest of Oprah’s favorites at $14.00 you too can be poisoned by your own cookware.
Perfect Ending Cupcakes Why make them yourself when for $60 you can order 9 cupcakes to be delivered to your door. We all order cupcakes from Williams and Sonoma, much like we have our cooks fix us dinner every night and our maids do our dishes.
Clarisonic Skin System Spend $200 on a daily skin cleaner from the makers of the Sonicaire toothbrush. Hey, here’s a thought, just save the money and scrub your face with your toothbrush.
Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbetto $40 for 4 pints of sorbetto, not including Fedex charges? Seems reasonable to me. After all, its not like there’s a grocery store within a few miles of your house that sells sorbet for a few bucks, so its worth the money.
Rachel Pally clothing $300 for a mumu?
My total favorite:
LG HDTV Refrigerator I mean come on! Who wants a fridge that isn’t HD ready? At a mere $4,000 you can sit and watch the weather channel in high def as you eat your expensive cupcakes and sorbetto, which is the only thing you can afford now that the credit card companies are repossessing everything else, except the Melamine bowls because the FDA is coming in hazard suits to pick those up.
So you see, Oprah is JUST like all of us, so we should all vote for Obama, because Oprah says so.
Time Magazine: Attention Women of Iowa: Oprah!!!
CNN; Can Oprah turn a hug into votes?
There are approximately 1,200 other articles similarly named, all shooting for that one demographic that truly calls to Oprah: WOMEN.
Like some kind of freak show, this political season is getting wackier and wackier by the minute, what with Romney explaining his religion, Hillary... well, she’s just being Hillary and planting her minions in opponents’ audiences to ask difficult questions, and the myriad of other strangeness going on. We don’t have to wait in anticipation of a Monty Pythian “Silly Party” to announce its candidacy, because they’re already running.
But lets go back to this whole Oprah thing. I’ve never really understood the draw to this woman. She started out much like Jerry Springer, but dumped the shocking and bizarre for more “personal” stories. She’s used her gazillions of dollars to build a school in Africa (personally I think we need more schools here in the U.S. but she chooses what she wants to do with her gazillions), and she gave a whole studio audience cars... then got egg on her face when everyone in the audience started complaining about how much they would have to pay in taxes for said cars. No good deed.
People (women actually) seem to look up to her, admire her and will buy just about anything she hawks on her show, including a made up piece of memoir by some guy that claimed to beat addiction. I’m sure that 99% of these woman aren’t as rich as Oprah, and yet they just go nuts over her “favorite things” lists and have to have these things.
Lets take a look at some of Oprah’s 2007 “favorite things” and see what we need to buy in order to “be” just like Oprah:
Toywatch Crystal Watches for a mere $150 - $325 you can have a watch. Of course, you could get a watch for $25 bucks that will tell time, but these watches are the ones Oprah approved, so screw the car payment and go get a nice watch.
Samsung HD Camcorder for a mere $800 you can get this cool camcorder to record you wearing your expensive watch. Who needs to make a mortgage payment, Oprah wants you to have this camcorder.
Melamine Bowls Yes, from the same crap that China put in your dog and cat food and killed them, one of the cheapest of Oprah’s favorites at $14.00 you too can be poisoned by your own cookware.
Perfect Ending Cupcakes Why make them yourself when for $60 you can order 9 cupcakes to be delivered to your door. We all order cupcakes from Williams and Sonoma, much like we have our cooks fix us dinner every night and our maids do our dishes.
Clarisonic Skin System Spend $200 on a daily skin cleaner from the makers of the Sonicaire toothbrush. Hey, here’s a thought, just save the money and scrub your face with your toothbrush.
Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbetto $40 for 4 pints of sorbetto, not including Fedex charges? Seems reasonable to me. After all, its not like there’s a grocery store within a few miles of your house that sells sorbet for a few bucks, so its worth the money.
Rachel Pally clothing $300 for a mumu?
My total favorite:
LG HDTV Refrigerator I mean come on! Who wants a fridge that isn’t HD ready? At a mere $4,000 you can sit and watch the weather channel in high def as you eat your expensive cupcakes and sorbetto, which is the only thing you can afford now that the credit card companies are repossessing everything else, except the Melamine bowls because the FDA is coming in hazard suits to pick those up.
So you see, Oprah is JUST like all of us, so we should all vote for Obama, because Oprah says so.
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